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Your Worst
Order of the Stick comic
Your Worst
Comic no. 1007
Date published 30 September 2015
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The vampire spirit possessing Durkon delves deep into his darkest memories to find Durkon at his worst.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1, Page 1

"Durkon": Do you know what my favorite part of my mistress' scheme is?
Roy: Unnnh... gotta...

Panel 2, Page 1

"Durkon": The dwarves will suffer worse than anyone!
Roy: They're... your own... people!
"Durkon": So?
"Durkon" attacks with a touch spell, but Roy parries with the Greenhilt Sword, "BLOCK!"

Panel 3, Page 1

"Durkon": They exiled me for no reason! Almost twenty years gone by!
"Durkon": They will have all of eternity to contemplate their error!

Panel 4, Page 1

Cut to Durkon's thoughts.
Durkon: Roy, ye daft fool, how can ye still think tha's me?!?
"Durkon": Why wouldn't he? It's not as if you don't have grievances against your own kind.

Panel 5, Page 1

Durkon: Whuh..?
Durkon: Nay, I... I dinnae have nuthin' against tha dwarven people.
"Durkon": Really? Nothing at all?

Panel 6, Page 1

"Durkon": Fun fact: When a new vampire spirit springs into existence, the first memories it absorbs are the lowest, darkest moments of the host's life.
"Durkon": So I've already watched these—

Panel 7, Page 1

"Durkon": But it seems like you could use a refresher.
Flashback begins.
High Priest Hurak: I'm sorry it has ta be like this, Durkon.
Durkon: Nay! Stop! What're ye doin'? I dinnae unnerstand wha's goin—

Panel 8, Page 1

High Priest Hurak: Yer a good cleric, an' I'll miss ye terrible while yer on yer "mission" ta human lands.
Durkon: High Priest Hurak, please! Ye cannae do this ta me!
Durkon: I dinnae do anythin' wrong!

Panel 9, Page 1

Durkon: What aboot me Ma? Ye know she needs help! She hides it, but she's getting arthritis in 'er hand!
Durkon: Please, ye haf ta let me stay wit 'er!

Panel 10, Page 1

High Priest Hurak: I'm... sorry. Ye know how much Sigdi means ta all o' us at tha temple. I hope Thor forgives me some day fer doin' this.
Durkon: Damn ye, man! At least let me go home ta say goodbye to—

Panel 11, Page 1

Durkon is tossed out of the temple by the two guards.

Panel 1, Page 2

Flashback ends.
"Durkon": Well gosh, that seemed rude. Let's fast forward to later in the week, shall we?
Durkon: No! No, ye've made yer point, I dinnae need ta see—

Panel 2, Page 2

Flashback begins.
Durkon: I dinna blame ye, Thor. This be thar doin' na yers.
Durkon: Me own church, kickin' me out in tha cold wit not enuff money ta get thru a week.

Panel 3, Page 2

Durkon: After all our family's done fer them, this be tha thanks we get?!?
Durkon: Leavin' Ma ta think I'm dead inna ditch somewhere?!?

Panel 4, Page 2

Durkon: Well, ta Hel wit ye, Hurak! Ta Hel wit all o' ye!
Durkon: Thor as my witness, ta Hel with e'ry single last one o' ye!!

Panel 5, Page 2

Flashback ends.
"Durkon": Well.
"Durkon": Never let it be said that the multiverse doesn't grant wishes.

Panel 6, Page 2

Durkon: Tha's... tha's na who I am.
"Durkon": Oh, I'm sorry, did you have an evil magic spirit in your head controlling your actions then, too?

Panel 7, Page 2

"Durkon": That's you. You said those words.
"Durkon": You can hang there and pretend you're so much nobler than I am—
"Durkon": —but for that one moment? You felt exactly what I feel.

Panel 8, Page 2

"Durkon": You are who you are on your worse day, Durkon. Anything less is a comforting lie you tell yourself to numb the pain.
"Durkon": And that's who I am. Your worst day, personified.

Panel 9, Page 2

"Durkon": Hel may have created me, but she shaped me to fit perfectly in the hole in your heart.

Panel 10, Page 2

"Durkon": Who knows? Some other vampire spirit who was made-to-order for a different dwarf might've done as Roy suggested and rejected Hel's plan from the start.
"Durkon": I guess we're just lucky you've got so much unresolved resentment lurking under that beard.

Panel 11, Page 2

Durkon: ...
"Durkon": No self-righteous comeback? Just as well. All the better to focus on killing your friend.

Panel 12, Page 2

Cut back to the fight. The "Durkon" is draining more levels from Roy.
Roy: Nnrrrgh!!!

D&D Context Edit

  • Since D&D cosmology includes multiple planes of existence and multiple worlds, the characters live in a "multiverse" rather than a universe.
  • Durkon appears to use an unspecified spell in the second panel, perhaps one of the Cause Wounds spells.
  • In the final panel he appears to use his vampiric Energy Drain ability for the third time, meaning Roy is now down six levels.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the second time Hurak's Dwarf Tossers have been portrayed in the comic, and both times have been a flashback of the same moment. It is interesting to compare their appearance in #305, "The Epistle of Durkon", with their appearance here, highlighting the increasing sophistication of the art style in Order of the Stick.
  • This is the first appearance of High Priest Hurak.

External Links Edit

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