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Where the Buffalo Wings Roam
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0312
Comic no. 312
Date published 3 May 2006
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Belkar orders buffalo wings at T.G.I. Wednesday's.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Belkar, Durkon, and V sit in a booth, while two Azurite patrons sit at the next booth.
Waiter: Hi! Welcome to T.G.I. Wednesday's!
Belkar: So tell me: if every restaurant in town is free...
Belkar: ...how come we ended up in a dump like this?
Durkon: Tha reservations fer tha good places fill up back in summer.
Vaarsuvius: Further, all of the members of the party with any Charisma are—

Panel 2

A waitress appears with a "pop!"
Waitress: Is everything OK here?
Vaarsuvius: Gah!

Panel 3

Vaarsuvius: How in the Nine Hells do waitresses always manage to surprise you while eating like that??
Waitress: Oh, I'm using the money from this job to put myself through Ninja School.

Panel 4

Waitress: Anyway, are you enjoying your meal?
Belkar: No, no I am not. And I will tell you why.

Panel 5

Belkar: I ordered buffalo wings from your menu. These appear to be tiny chicken legs in hot sauce.
Waitress: OK, so what's the problem?

Panel 6

Belkar: The problem is I ordered BUFFALO, not CHICKEN!!!
Waitress dodges.
Durkon: Nice dodge.
Waitress: Ninja.

Panel 7

Belkar: Now get your bulbous human ass back in that kitchen and get me some actual wings from an actual buffalo!
Waitress: But buffalos don't have—
Belkar: NOW!

Panel 8

Durkon: Ye know, Belkar, thar was no need ta be so rude ta her.
Vaarsuvius: Indeed, she is merely a food delivery technician, she has little control over the menu.
Belkar: Bah.

Panel 9

Belkar: Look, if they can't get actual buffalo wings, why the heck are they on the menu? I'm doing them a service.

Panel 10

Belkar: It's not may[sic] fault my mouth waters at the thought of biting into juicy, delicious, nonexistant appendages of an endangered species.
Two winged buffalo's are sitting at the next table.
Harold: Oh, that is IT! I am going over there!
Buffalo: Calm down, Harold, we're supposed to be having a nice dinner.

D&D Context Edit

  • Charisma is one of the six main stats in the game and determines not only force of personality but physical attractiveness.
  • The Dodge Feat allows additional Dodge Bonuses which allow a character to avoid attacks.
  • The party have had a lot of trouble Spotting Ninjas, starting as early as #3.

Trivia Edit

  • The restaurant's name is based on the real-life T.G.I. Friday's.
  • The comic's title is a paraphrasing of a line from the folk song Home on the Range.
  • Buffalo wings, despite their name, are actually named for their origin from the city of Buffalo, NY.
  • In the web version of the strip, the "my" in Belkar's last line is misspelled "may."

External Links Edit

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