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Celia convinces Haley and Belkar to try a non-violent approach.

Cast[]

Transcript[]

Panel 1

Haley: OK, so this is a seldom-used mining path that leads through the mountains. If we follow it, we should be able to bypass the city.
Celia: Is it guarded?
Haley: Yeah, but not as heavily. This particular mine has been tapped out for over 100 years, so most people don't know it's even here.
Belkar: So we're talking, like, 30 hobgoblins, tops.

Panel 2

Celia: Thirty?? That's like an army!
Belkar: Please. It's not even a work out.
Haley: Yeah, if we kill 10 each, we're golden.

Panel 3

Celia: Kill? Can't we just sneak past them?
Haley: Not pulling this cart, we can't.
Belkar: And I'm still not letting you put Roy's body in a Bag of Holding. I know it will screw me somehow.
Haley: Not to mention that the inside of my bag will be covered in dead Roy.

Panel 4

Belkar: Besides, it's easier to just kill them all.
Celia: Easier for you, maybe, but some of us aren't professional murderers!
Belkar: Professional? HA! I wish I was getting paid for this!

Panel 5

Haley: Wait, are you saying you don't kill?
Celia: Yeah, uh, MOST people don't kill, Haley! That's why there are laws against murder.
Celia: It's really only adventurers who think, "Hmm, how can I solve this problem? Oh, right, bloodshed!"
Belkar: That's not true. We run away a lot, too

Panel 6

Haley: Yeah, well, when you've been around the dungeon a few times, you start to see violence as an acceptable alternative to a one-way ticket on the Negative Hit Point Express.
Haley: I'd rather kill a few dozen hobgoblins than end up like Roy here.

Panel 7

Haley: At any rate, these guards don't share your delicate sensibilities, so if you don't want to fight, just stay back here behind the cart.
Haley: Belkar, can you handle fifteen?
Belkar: If I can't, we'll have to stop at the next town to buy me a pink frilly dress, 'cause it'll mean I'll have spontaneously turned into a preteen girl.

Panel 8

Celia: WAIT!
Celia: This path only leads back to the mines, right? If you kill all the guards, someone will notice and try searching the caves.
Celia: They'll find the Resistance immediately.
Haley: Hmmm. That's actually a really good point.
Belkar: Hey, they had their chance to serve me as a living god, I say, let 'em suffer.

Panel 9

Celia: But don't worry...you just gave me an idea when you mentioned ending up like Roy...
Celia: Haley, close your eyes.
Haley: Ummm. OK.

Panel 10

Celia draws x's on Haley's eyes.

Panel 11

Celia: There! Who needs a Feign Death spell when we have a black eyeliner pencil?
Celia: Now get on the cart with the other corpse while I do the same thing to Belkar.
Belkar: Eyeliner? Couldn't you just stab me instead?

D&D Context[]

  • Regarding the title, a disguise kit is a standard equipment item in the Player's Handbook.
  • Feign Death is a spell appearing in several editions that causes a willing creature to enter a catatonic state indistinguishable from death.

External Links[]

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