Turning Azurite, I Think I'm Turning Azurite, I Really Think So
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 516
Date published 28 December 2007
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Thinking Black Squadron defeated, Belkar goes to investigate a rare Spot check success while Than elects to return to base. On the way, Thanh is ambushed and Dominated by Tsukiko who introduces the metaphor that gives Boot Wight his name (and boots).

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Thanh and Belkar exit the granary.
Ho Thanh: The wights are vanquished.
Thanh: Let us make hasty our escape, that we might live to fight the forces of Evil another day.
Belkar: Yeah, hold on a moment, I think I saw something out of the corner of my eye, inside the granary.

Panel 2

Thanh: We do not have time to investigate. 
Belkar: Hey, you may not have noticed, but I don’t succeed on many Spot checks. I’m not going to ignore it when I finally roll and natural 20.

Panel 3

Belkar: Besides, if this ends up being what I think it is, it’s worth the risk…
Thanh: Bah! You care more for your own profit than our holy mission to restore this nation’s rightful government?
Belkar: Turns out. Gee, there’s a shocker.

Panel 4

Thanh: Fine. I do not know what possible benefit Haley possibly sees in his continued assistance, but I need not indulge his avarice.
Thanh: He can find his own way—

Panel 5

Tsukiko (off-panel): Flame Strike!
A column of fire descends on Thanh.

Panel 6

Tsukiko: Is that him? Is that the one who turned you, my little one?
Boot Wight: Uh huh! He made me feel funny inside!

Panel 7

Tsukiko blasts Thanh with a Lightning Bolt, "ZZZZAP!"
Tsukiko: You big bully! I only made him four weeks ago!
Tsukiko: You’re lucky this isn’t First Edition, or we’ll see how you’d like it if someone turned YOU, paladin!

Panel 8

Thanh attacks and misses with his katana, "woosh!"
Thanh: You vile betrayer! You have sold out our entire civilization to outsiders!
Tsukiko: Yeah, but at least I got a good price for it. What can I say? It was a seller’s market.

Panel 9

Tsukiko: Besides, they were the ones who threw ME into prison for being different—for understanding that a pulse is not a prerequisite for being loved!
Tsukiko: They all got exactly what they deserved!

Panel 10

Tsukiko: But I guess we’ll have to settle for a different sort of turning for you.
Tsukiko: Dominate Person!
Thanh: Nnnnnno! Twelve Gods help me!

Panel 11

Tsukiko: Now, let’s go find that boss of yours.
Thanh: Yes, Mistress Tsukiko.
Tsukiko: Personally, I think you and Haley will both appreciate how wonderful and special the undead are after you walk a mile in their shoes…
Boot Wight: Mistress, I’m not wearing shoes.

Panel 12

Tsukiko: It’s a metaphor, dearie.
Wight: Does that mean I’m getting shoes soon?
Tsukiko: No.
Boot Wight: …
Boot Wight: Can I have his shoes?
Tsukiko: You’re really undercutting my point here, you know.

D&D Context Edit

  • In 1st edition AD&D, paladins could be turned by evil clerics. Paladins of 1st or 2nd level could be turned like a Mummy, at 3rd or 4th level like a Spectre, at 5th or 6th level like a Vampire, at 7th or 8th level like a Ghost, at 9th or 10th level like a Lich, and 11th level and higher paladins could be turned like evil creatures from the lower planes such as minor demons, lesser devils, mezzodaemons, and night hags.
  • Flame Strike is a 5th level cleric spell that deals 1d6/level damage to a maximum of 15d6.
  • Lightning Bolt is a 3rd level wizard spell that does 1d6/level damage to maximum of 10d6.
  • Dominate Person is a 5th level wizard spell that allows control of the subject through a telepathic link.
  • Tsukiko continues to use her Fly spell, a 3rd level wizard spell.

Trivia Edit

  • The title is a play on the lyrics of the 1980 hit new wave song Turning Japanese by The Vapors. The Azure City population and culture draw heavily on feudal Japanese themes.
  • What Belkar spotted in the granary is revealed in #520.
  • Tsukiko's interplay with the wight about walking a mile in their shoes sets up the joke that gives Boot Wight his name.
  • This is the final appearance of Point-Granting Wight and Third Wight. They first appeared in #513.

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