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Tomorrow's Technology Today
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0138
Comic no. 138
Date published 7 January 2005
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Durkon goes shopping at Fine Gnomish Armor.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Durkon walks into "Fine Gnomish Armor".

Panel 2

Gnome: Hello! Hello, good sir!
Gnome: Looking for some armor? Of course you are, of course!

Panel 3

Durkon: Me armor be good a' tha protectin', na so much at the bein' quiet.
Gnome: Ah, a common problem with the heavier armors.

Panel 4

Gnome: Lucky for you, I have been experimenting with some ideas to quiet down any armor. How about we try a few of them?

Panel 5

Gnome: This is my first idea. We surround the armor and wearer with a thick airtight plastic shell. Guaranteed 100% soundproof.

Panel 6

Gnome: What do you think?
Durkon: Gnome: What?
Durkon: Gnome: What?
Durkon is turning blue.

Panel 7

Gnome: OK, well how about this then; the armor comes equipped with a box of specially-trained hornets.

Panel 8

Gnome: On command, they swarm out and puncture the eardrums of everyone within sight.
The hornets swarm out of an opening in the breastplate, "buzzzz!"

Panel 9

Durkon: Isn't that a wee bit harsh?
Gnome: Well, it's like my father always used to say; You can't make an omelet without permanently deafening someone.

Panel 10

Gnome: OK, then, try this: The Muskrat 3000. It consists of the suit of armor and a half-blind muskrat with 17 cymbals strapped to it.

Panel 11

Durkon: How does THA make me any quiet'r??
Gnome: It doesn't. But if you release the muskrat ahead of you into the dungeon, it makes so much racket that the monsters ignore you.
The Muskrat 3000 makes a racket on the floor, "clang! clang! clang! clang! clang!"

Panel 12

Gnome: The up side is, it doubles as a trap detection system. The down side involves druids with pointy sticks.
Muskrat 3000: What? It beats working retail.

D&D Context Edit

Trivia Edit

  • The Gnome is paraphrasing the proverb "You can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs".
  • Durkon first runs into trouble with the noise his armor makes in #24, Do You Hear What I Hear?. In the next comic Elan looks at the tag on the armor which shows that Durkon wears Full Plate Armor.
  • This is the only appearance of the Muskrat 3000.

External Links Edit

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