Eugene gets left at the pearly gates.
Cast[]
- Roy Greenhilt (also as spirit) ◀ ▶
- Eugene Greenhilt (also as mortal) ◀ ▶
- Bureaucratic Deva ◀
- Choir of Cherubim ▶
- Keeno
- Myrtok
Transcript[]
- Panel 1
Eugene Greenhilt: Wait just one cotton-pickin' minute! When I died of old age, you all told me that I couldn't get in because of the Blood Oath I swore against Xykon when I was younger.
Eugene: I've been drifting around this cloud for years because of that.
- Panel 2
Eugene: Now I know that the magic of that oath binds my kids, too, so how the hell is he getting in when I'm not??
Roy: I'm guessing it's due to their very low Jackass Quota, Dad. They're just all full at the moment.
- Panel 3
Bureaucratic Deva: Your son is "getting in" because he died of the process of attempting to fulfill that oath.
Bureaucratic Deva: True, he could have gone about it more efficiently, but we don't penalize people for ineffectiveness.
Bureaucratic Deva: He was doing what he thought was best, to the limit of his abilities—including his ability to judge what was best.
- Panel 4
Flashback to Eugene adventuring with his old companions Myrtok and Keeno.
Bureaucratic Deva (inset): You on the other hand, made a conscious decision to abandon your own oath years before your death.
Young Eugene: Eh... never mind, guys. It was a stupid oath anyway.
- Panel 5
Flashback to Eugene approaching Roy at Fighter College.
Bureaucratic Deva (inset): You stopped looking for Xykon more than 20 years ago, and even when your final death was approaching, you sought out your son at college and burdened him with the Blood Oath rather than take even one last chance at fulfilling it.
- Panel 6
Cut back to the Celestial Realms
Bureaucratic Deva: You broke your oath, while your son did everything he could to fulfill the vow you dumped at his feet.
Bureaucratic Deva: Therefore, he has earned his rest on the mountain, while you must wander this cloud until one of your heirs fulfills the quest.
Bureaucratic Deva: That is your punishment.
- Panel 7
Eugene: But...but that's not fair!
Bureaucratic Deva: Yes, it is fair. And that's why you're upset.
Roy: Oooooo, holy burn!
- Panel 8
Roy: Well, Dad, it's been a blast, but some of us have an appointment through the revolving door. Adios, Dad.
Bureaucratic Deva: Oh, no, Roy, that's only for returning patrons. As a first-timer, you'll want that entrance behind you.
- Panel 9
Pearly gates with wrought gold surrounded by cherubs.
Cherub Choir: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
- Panel 10
Bureaucratic Deva: (It's customary to tip the cherubim.)
Trivia[]
- Cherubim are the second highest angels in the medieval Christian angel hierarchy, sometimes depicted as putti (nude winged male children – the ones here seem to be wearing diapers).
- This is the first appearance of the Cherubim.
- This is the final appearance of the Bureaucratic Deva, who first appeared in #487.
- This is the only appearance of Eugene's old adventuring buddies Myrtok and Keeno in the online comic. They appear in Start of Darkness, in which they are identified. Eugene's other adventurer companion Juta does not appear in the comic.