This is Not a Thing That is Going to Happen
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 938
Date published 14 January 2014
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Haley asks Roy to take an unexpected detour before continuing their quest and Elan reflects on how he has lived his life until now.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Julio: The real problem is that we'll be losing two days going around the Elven Lands.
Roy: Hmmm. We may actually be able to get permission for a flyover...
Elan: Hey Roy? So, um, Haley has something to say that you probably aren't going to want to—
Haley: We need to pick up my dad before we leave.

Panel 2

Roy: What? No, Haley, we can't—
Haley: He's in more danger than ever, and it's all because of me.
Haley: Tonight might be our only chance to smuggle him off the continue before Tarquin's allies get to him.

Panel 3

Roy: I can sympathize, but we do not have time to track down a rogue who is trying his best to disappear.
Haley: I can set up a rendezvous using Sending—we have a secret password so he'll know it's really me.

Panel 4

Roy: *sigh* OK, fine, but only because it's on the way.
Roy: And you only get ten minutes to convince him to come along this time.
Roy: A normal ten minutes, not the decompressed 40-strips-equals-ten-minutes kind.

Panel 5

Julio: Here, use my Sending wand, my dear. I always keep it here in my coat pocket for emergencies.
Haley: Thanks, Julio.
Elan: How come you didn't let me use that when we were racing to warn Haley about Nale taking my place?

Panel 6

Julio: For the same reason I didn't tell you that you bore an uncanny resemblance to one of my B-list villains.
Elan: It made for a better story.
Julio: Exactly.

Panel 7

Julio: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm in desperate need of a wardrobe change.
Elan: Huh. It's weird... I've always done whatever it took to make things as dramatic as possible too.
Roy: I know. I was the guy you made wait for the first dungeon explosion.

Panel 8

Elan: But now, it just feels... strange.
Elan: Like, I mean, stories are fun and all, but they're not worth hurting people over.
Elan: I think a lot of people suffer because my dad doesn't get that.

Panel 9

Roy: Elan... if we manage to stop Xykon and the world is safe, we'll figure out something to do about your father's empires.
Roy: You have my word.
Elan: Thanks, Roy. I really appreciate it.

Panel 10


Panel 11

Roy: You're mentally workshopping sequel titles, aren't you?
Elan: I'm leaning towards, "Order of the Stick 2: Order Stickier!"

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