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Things to Do in Heaven When You're Dead
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0492
Comic no. 492
Date published 11 October 2007
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Roy sees the attractions available in Paradise.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Roy passes through the gates and begins walking up a mountain.
Roy's Archon: Welcome to the mountain, Roy.

Panel 2

Roy's Archon: I'll be your guide through the Celestial Realm until you settle in—or get raised.
Roy: Thanks, uh, little ball of light.

Panel 3

Roy's Archon: Actually, my name is "Roy's Archon".
Roy: That...
Roy: ...is incredibly convenient.
Roy's Archon: Exactly.

Panel 4

Roy's Archon: Now, I've taken the liberty of preparing a map with a few of the attractions that I felt may appeal to you.
Roy: "Attractions"?
Roy's Archon: Sure. We couldn't call it Paradise if you just sat around all the time doing nothing.

Panel 5

A female elf holding a mug of beer stands in front of a tavern.
Roy's Archon: For example, I've highlighted the Tavern of Infinite One-Night Stands...
Elf: I'm really interested in hearing you talk about yourself.

Panel 6

A robed man stands in front of a Classic Greek building.
Roy's Archon': ...the Debate Hall Where You're Always Right...
Debater: Huh. You know, I never really thought about it that way...

Panel 7

Two Devas face an assortment of monsters a pair of trolls and a gorgon.
Roy's Archon: ...and the Dungeon of Monsters That Are Just Strong Enough to Really Challenge You.
Angel #1: Wait, so if I have two CR 11's and I add a CR 8, what EL does that add up to?
Angel #2: Oh, just eyeball it already.

Panel 8

Roy: Is there any place to eat?
Roy's Archon: Well, you don't strictly NEED to eat anymore, but if you just want to enjoy the taste of food, I'd recommend All Steaks Go to Heaven, just past the Bless-asteria.

Panel 9

Roy: What's this big red star?
Roy's Archon: That's your mother's house. I recommend going there first.

Panel 10

Roy's Archon: When you've been here a while, you can requisition your own house, but until then, you'll be staying with your closest relative.
Roy: Which is my mother.
Roy's Archon: Which is your mother, yes.

Panel 11

Roy: So... I could have all the one-night stands I want, but I'd have to have them at my Mom's house?
Roy: Are you trying to make people feel guilty about sex?
Roy's Archon: Actually, yes. We've found that our Lawful patrons generally expect it that way.

D&D Context Edit

  • CR stands for Challenge Rating and EL stands for Encounter Level. In D&D Dungeon Masters are encouraged to treat challenge rating and encounter levels merely as a guideline, and to "eyeball" or "wing it" whenever they don't like the figures (which are considered quite approximate). Further reading, on the RPG.Net forums.
  • The two green monsters in the seventh panel are Trolls
  • The grey bull with smoke coming out of its nostrils is a Gorgon which in D&D is a distinct type of creature from a Medusa (which is also not a unique creature in D&D).

Trivia Edit

External Links Edit

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