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They Should Childproof Those Things

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They Should Childproof Those Things
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0118
Comic no. 118
Date published 7 November 2004
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"Delayed Gratification" "Hollywood, Eat Your Heart Out"
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It turns out that Elan is just a bit too familiar with genre conventions.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Elan: Good news, Roy! Haley and V found a magic sword for you to use.
Roy: Thanks, Elan, but that's not necessary.

Panel 2

Roy: I'm going to collect the pieces of my grandfather's sword and have it reforged.
Elan: Wow, cool.

Panel 3

Vaarsuvius (off-panel): Take your infernal hands off of me! Damn it, I am a wizard not a divining rod!
Elan: Oh, that reminds me, V is awake.
Roy: Gee thanks. I had no idea.

Panel 4

Haley: I think we've got all the treasure gathered.
Roy: Good, good.

Panel 5

Roy: Well, gang, it looks like we're out of here.
Elan: Yup. Nothing left to do but activate the self-destruction rune and leave

Panel 6

Beat. The whole order looks worried at a smiling Elan.

Panel 7

Roy: The...the what?
Elan: Y'know, the rune over behind Xkyon's[sic] throne labeled "Castle Self-Destruct."

Panel 8

Elan (off-panel): We just activate that and leave. Right?
Close up of the self-destruct rune. Under the rune are subtitles:
Castle Self-Destruct
(Do Not Touch Ever.)
(No, not even then.)

Panel 9

Roy: Why would we...want to destroy the castle?
Haley: There's got to be plenty of treasure left in other rooms.
Vaarsuvius: And XP, let us not forget XP.

Panel 10

Elan: Right, right. But, just for the sake of argument, let's say one of us—could be any of us, really—let's say one of us DID find a big glowing self-destruct rune and had already activated it.
Elan: That wouldn't actually be a problem, would it? I mean, not really?

Panel 11

Beat. The whole order looks shocked at a guiltily smiling Elan.

Panel 12

Roy, Haley, V and Belkar run toward the exit, dragging Durkon with them.
Elan (off-panel): Guys?

D&D Context Edit

  • A party of adventurers will often go back through a dungeon after they have achieved their objective for the purpose of clearing any monsters they may have missed in order to gain additional experience points (XP) and treasure.

Trivia Edit

  • Typo: In panel 7, Elan says "Xkyon" instead of "Xykon". This mistake was left uncorrected in the printed version.

External Links Edit

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