The Secrets
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 405
Date published 24 January 2007
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Hinjo and Miko overhear Shojo, Roy, and Belkar discussing things they should not discuss in public.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Alone in the throne room, Roy speaks with Shojo while Belkar removes his paladin disguise.
Roy: So, not that Nale doesn't deserve to be locked up pretty much forever, but doesn't it worry you that your guy there seemed kinda upset about the whole "indefinite imprisonment" thing?
Shojo: Hmmm? Oh, yes, well, O-chul can be like that.

Panel 2

Roy: Really? Gosh, a paladin is curious about whether the laws are being upheld? Who'd guess?
Shojo: Don't get preachy, kid. You and your "Order of the Stick" are in just as deep as I am.

Panel 3

Roy: Hey, you're the one swind'ling your own followers. It doesn't affect me one way or the other.
Shojo: Oh? Two words: Your trial.

Panel 4

Shojo: You were found innocent of weakening the fabric of the universe primarly because I went through a lot of trouble to stage a fake trial for the paladins.
Shojo: Heck, I even went so far as to have the verdict handed down by your own father!

Panel 5

Shojo: If you want to have a Lawful-to-Lawful conversation with O-chul about the applicability of the laws of Azure City, be my guest.
Shojo: I don't think it will end well for you, though.
Roy: OK, OK, geez! I just don't want us to get careless..

Panel 6

Roy: Try ratcheting down the paranoia a litle here...
Shojo: Paranoia? I rule a city where I have to fake senility just to avoid being assassinated.
Shojo: I took Improved Paranoia like 5 levels ago.

Panel 7

Shojo: How about you, Belkar? Any complaints to lodge about how I handle my paladins?
Belkar: Dude, you order paladins to clean the litter box.
Belkar: You're, like, my idol.

Panel 8

Shojo: Hmmmm. That's not exactly reassuring.
Shojo: So, are you ready to head out to check Girard's Gate yet?
Roy: Well there was the issue of the dead wizard you threw at me.
Shojo: Oh, right. The clerics should be on their way here now to raise him.

Panel 9

Shojo: Remember, whatever you learn at Girard's Gate, you cannot tell any of the paladins. Not even my nephew.

Panel 10

Roy: Blah, blah, blah, crazy oath forbids anyone in the Sapphire Guard from doing exactly what you hired us to do. Got it.
Shojo: Hey, a pointless promise by a guy who's been dead for decades may not mean much to your or I, but it means a lot to the paladins, so try to remember.

Panel 11

Shojo: Don't let me down, Greenhilt. I went through a lot of trouble to get you here to Azure City behind the collective backs of my loyal paladins...

Panel 12

Shojo: ...I'd hate to think all those perfectly good lies were for naught.
Hinjo: Did you—
Miko: I heard.

D&D Context Edit

  • Improved Paranoia is not a canonical Feat, but is a parody of several standard feats with names like Improved Counterspell or Improved Bull Rush.

Trivia Edit

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