The Price is Right
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 662
Date published 13 June 2009
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Xykon won't let Redcloak regenerate his eye.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Tsukiko is healing Xykon with a negative energy spell, while Redcloak (now wearing an eyepatch and a new holy symbol) runs in.
Tsukiko: Well...maybe you can destroy yourself and regenerate wherever the phylactery is?
Xykon: Oh, you think so? And if, say, a sea serpent ate it in the meantime?
Tsukiko: ...Oh, right.
Redcloak: Xykon! Are you OK?
Redcloak: What happened to the walls?

Panel 2

Xykon: Where the hell have you been, you worthless piece of green crap??
Redcloak: Uh, my Word of Recall brought me to my study in the basement. I got my backup holy symbol.

Panel 3

Redcloak: Wait...
Redcloak: ...Where IS my regular holy—
Xykon: LOST, you stupid meatbag! Because of YOU!!

Panel 4

Redcloak: Me? How is it my fault, I wasn't even up here!
Xykon: YES! Exactly! You weren't up here when YOUR prisoner ran amok, dropped it in the sewers, and then popped out of here without a trace!!

Panel 5

Xykon grabs Redcloak by the collar of his cloak.
Xykon: And now your precious holy symbol—also known as MY FRICKING PHYLACTERY—is lying in the sewers of this disgusting blue cesspool! Or in the ocean!

Panel 6

Xykon throws Redcloak to the floor.
Redcloak: OK, OK, we can fix this. We've got thousands of minions, we comb every inch of the sewers starting first thing in the—
Xykon: Starting NOW.
Redcloak: Starting now, right. I'll go give the orders.

Panel 7

Tsukiko: Rough day, huh, Reddy? First the eye, now this.
Redcloak: The eye is a minor inconvenience. I can Regenerate it as soon as I rest and regain spells.

Panel 8

Xykon: No.
Redcloak: ...
Redcloak: What?

Panel 9

Xykon: You're not regenerating anything. That eye? That's your individual Idiot Tax. That's what this fiasco costs you, personally.
Xykon: I want you to remember every moment of every day what happens if we sit on our lazy ASSES and rearrange the furniture in a ruined city instead of moving on to the next target.

Panel 10

Xykon: If I ever see you with more eyes than assholes, I'm going to shove one in the other and give your cloak to that hobgoblin.
Redcloak: Who, Jirix? He's dead.
Xykon: THEN RAISE HIM! At least he had the decency to shout a warning!

Panel 11

Xykon: I want you all to be ready to teleport out of here two rounds after we find my phylactery, whether that takes days or months.
Xykon: Vacation time is over, kids. Time to go back to work.

Panel 12

Xykon: And for the Evil's sake, will somebody wake this moron up?!?
Xykon: It's about time he DID something around here!
Monster in the Darkness: Zzzzzzz....

D&D Context Edit

  • Tsusiko in the first panel casts one of the Inflict Wounds spells, such as Inflict Critical Wounds in order to heal Xykon. As an undead, these spells have the opposite effect than they would have on a living creature.
  • Word of Recall is a sixth level spell which teleports the cleric back to his sanctuary. Redcloak used it in #655 to escape O-Chul.
  • The Lich's Phylactery is a back up receptacle of its soul; if it is destroyed the lich has no chance of regeneration, after his own demise.
  • Two rounds is 12 seconds. Thus the team needs to be ready to leave at a moment's notice.

Trivia Edit

  • The title makes reference to the long-running game show, The Price Is Right, which began in 1972, hosted by Bob Barker. It is still in production, hosted by Drew Carey. The title plays on the price of Redcloak's failure, is right eye.
  • Redcloak's brother Right-Eye, lost his left eye to another paladin of the Sapphire Guard, making them mirrors of each other.
  • The term "Idiot Tax" is sometimes used as a pejorative term for the lottery. It is also used sometimes to refer to other products or services which are perceived to not be worth what they cost.
  • The final panel introduces a bit of irony; Xykon laments that MitD doesn't do anything, but in the previous strip he performed one of his most notable actions of the comics.

External links Edit