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The Path to Victory

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The Path to Victory
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0094
Comic no. 94
Date published 8 August 2004
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"Teenage Wasteland" "Dead Men Tell Tales"
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Different backgrounds. Just for some variation. This is a haiku.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Goblin with Sneakers: So, where are you headed? Back to the surface?
Roy: Um, no, actually.
Roy: We're headed down, to Xykon's secret lair.

Panel 2

Goblin with Sneakers: What?? You're kidding!
Goblin with Sneakers: He'll like totally kill you!
Roy: Not if we kill him first.
Durkon: Heh heh.

Panel 3

Zit Boy: The two of us can lead you part of the way, but the path is through many dangerous areas.
Goblin with Braces: We'd first need to go that way, through the Hall of Myserious Runes.
Roy: Then lead on!

Panel 4

The Order and the goblins walk through a room with purple runes on the wall.
Belkar: Hey, not to be nitpicky, but we just ran away from goblins. How are we actually expecting to defeat a powerful necromancer?
Goblin with Acne: Then through the Cavern of Very Easy Encounters.

Panel 5

The Order and the goblins walk through a room with a single kobold in it, which Roy kills with one hit.
Roy: I've been thinking about that, ever since my dad said something similar last night.
Belkar: Isn't you dad dead?
Roy: Yes.
Kobold: Yeek!
Goblin with Braces: ...to the Room With All the Spikes.

Panel 6

The Order and the goblins walk through a room with spikes covering the floor and ceiling.
Roy: Anyway, he really ragged on me about my sword not being able to hurt Xykon's body.
Zit Boy: We're coming up on the Chasm of Unnecessary Cliffs.

Panel 7

The Order and the goblins walk along the top of a cliff.
Roy: But Xykon is not just a skeleton. He is also a creature of magic: a lich. There should be a way we can ruin the spells that bind his spirit to this world.
Durkon: Aye, ye could disrupt him.
Roy: Disrupt?
Goblin with Braces: Next, we'll travel through the Tunnel With the Sort of Reddish Floor.

Panel 8

The Order and the goblins walk through a tunnel... with a sort of reddish floor.
Durkon: Aye, I could cast a Disruption spell on yer sword, lettin' ye smite any undead ye touch with it.
Roy: Perfect! With that spell, my sword should be able to strike down Xykon once and for all.
Zit Boy: Soon, we will arrive at the Passageway of Horrible Death for Other People.

Panel 9

The Order and the goblins walk along a passageway littered with corpses.
Durkon: It only be lasting a few rounds, tho, so be ready.
Roy: I understand. When we get to Xykon's lair, then cast the spell on my sword.
Durkon: Got it.
Gobin with Braces: And now we're entering the Corridor of Very Toxic Sulfur Fumes.

Panel 10

The Order and the goblins walk along a corridor filled with yellow fumes.
Durkon: cough.
Roy: Wow, the sheer novelty of having a plan in advance is making me giddy.
Goblin with Braces: Actually, that's the aforementioned sulfur fumes.
Zit Boy: They cause brain damage.
Belkar: Meh. Either way.

D&D Context Edit

  • Disruption is a magic ability normally on a weapon. Durkon has a spell to put that ability on a weapon.
  • There are four Challenge Ratings (CR) to determine the experience points (XP) the party gets from an encounter: Easy, Medium, Hard, and Deadly. A Very Easy encounter would not generate any experience points for the characters.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the final appearance of Teenage Goblin with Sneakers.
  • This comic is a reference for every place in a fantasy setting to have an intimidating name.

External Links Edit

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