The Exposition Fairy
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 532
Date published 21 February 2008
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Celia gives a lengthy exposition on the origin, effects, and current use of the epic Cloister spell.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1, Page 1

Haley: OK, now I want you to explain this "Cloister" thing to me.
Celia: Well, you know how—
Haley: And don't make any assumptions about what I can or cannot sense, or do or do not know.
Celia: ...OK, I'll try.

Panel 2, Page 1

Celia: So, I once worked for a wizard named Dorukan, who was guarding one of the five Gates that lock away a creature known as the Snarl.
Haley: Yes, Celia, I know. That's how we met.
Celia: Well, you said not to make any assumptions. Geez.

Panel 3, Page 1

Celia: Anyway, I didn't know at the time what he was guarding down there, but I did know that he used several powerful arcane spells that he had researched himself.
Celia: Epic spells.

Panel 4, Page 1

Flashback of Dorukan casting Cloister on his castle.
Celia (inset): One was called "Cloister". It basically blocked all divination, communication, and transportation magic from breaching an area up to several miles wide.
Dorukan: Cloister!
Celia (inset): Teleportation, scrying, plane shifting, dimension doors, locatting creatures, sending[,] ethereal jaunts, you name it, it blocked it.

Panel 5, Page 1

Celia: You could cast them within the area, or even from inside the field to outside, but anyone on the outside of the boundary would get nothing but busy signals and error messages.
Celia: I mean, unless they were using epic magic, too.

Panel 6, Page 1

Flashback of Celia and the Big Green Bird
Celia (inset): Right before Xykon moved in, the field disappeared—probably dure to Dorukan's death, but I'm not really sure.
Celia: That's weird...

Panel 7, Page 1

Cut to Xykon in the Dungeon of Dorukan. Xykon is holding Dorukan's Headband
Celia (inset): And then, poof! One day, it was back. I guess Xykon found a way to master the spell himself.
Xykon: It's either a lame hippie hairband, or the material focus for the most powerful abjuration ever.
Xykon: Probably both.

Panel 8, Page 1

Celia: The field gives off a vibration to which most of us were sensitive... And as soon as I arrived here, I could feel it all around. (Sorry that it didn't occur to me that no one else could.)
Celia: Xykon must be using the spell that he learned back then on Azure City, to keep anyone from interfering.

Panel 9, Page 1

Haley: So Durkon and V could have been searching for us the whole time... and once we step outside the city, they'll find us!
Celia: Well, uh, actually... it might not be quite that easy.
Roy: Gosh, there's a surprise.

Panel 10, Page 1

Celia: You see, Cloister doesn't just target an area of land—it also targets each and every living creature within that area at the time of casting, preventing them from being scryed on or contacted.
Haley: Every creature?? Why? That's just unnecessary overkill!

Panel 11, Page 1

Celia: Oh, it's absolutely overkill. But, you know...
Celia: He was a man.
Haley: Ah, Got it.
Roy: HEY!

Panel 1, Page 2

Celia: Besides, Dorukan wanted to be certain that if he or one of his servants left the castle, they'd still be shielded properly.
Haley: Left the castle? I though you pretty much stayed holed up there.
Celia: No, we sometimes had missions.

Panel 2, Page 2

The three guardian fairies from the Dungeon of Dorukan are ordering sandwiches at SerfWay
SerfWay Clerk: Hello, welcome to SerfWay.
Fairy: Hi, let me get three veggie subs, no cheese.
Flame Sprite: I want hot peppers on mine.
Fairy: One with hot peppers.

Panel 3, Page 2

Celia: Really important missions.

Panel 4, Page 2

Celia: The upshot being that getting you out of the city will only prevent Xykon from casting it on you again.
Celia: You'll still need to wait for the effect to wear off your person, too.
Roy: Goddamn it!

Panel 5, Page 2

Haley: How long will that take?
Celia: Who knows? The duration is one week per caster level, but—
Haley: But we don't know Xykon's exact caster level.
Celia: Bingo.

Panel 6, Page 2

Haley: But we CAN do the math. It's been 16 weeks since the city fell.
Celia: Oh, I see what you're saying...
Celia: And Xykon would need to be 20th level to cast an epic spell.
Roy: 21st level. He needs an epic feat in order to learn any epic spells.

Panel 7, Page 2

Haley: So we have minimum of... wow, no less than four weeks before the spell wears off of me.
Celia: Darn it.
Roy: FIVE weeks! Gods, doesn't anyone know the epic rules around here?

Panel 8, Page 2

Haley: Still, Cliffport is way more than four weeks north of here, even if we somehow manage to get our hands on horses.
Haley: I guess it doesn't change anything after all. We head north, until we can contact them or they can contact us.

Panel 9, Page 2

Haley: Just one more question, though. How come we were able to summon you with that talisman.
Celia: For some reason, Dorukan built a specific exception for summoning spells into the Cloister's effect. I still don't know why.

Panel 10, Page 2

Roy: Huh...
Roy: I wonder what he summoned that was important enough to leave a big gaping hole in his über-spell...

Panel 11, Page 2

Dorukan's bedroom. Dorukan has just summoned Lirian in a Thaumatic Triangle. A carafe of wine sits on a small table with two glasses poured. "Can't get enough of your love, babe." croons from an off-panel source over a bed strewn with rose petals.
Lirian: Hey, handsome.

D&D Context Edit

  • Epic character rules were introduced for D&D 3.5e which allowed characters to advance beyond 20th level. Characters get their first Epic Feat at level 21 and every three levels thereafter.

Trivia Edit

  • A rare appearance of two members of the Order of the Scribble.
    • This is the final appearance of Dorukan thus far in the comic. He first appeared in Serini Toormuck's diary in #196. He also has ten appearances in Start of Darkness, which is outside of the web comic.
    • This is also the final appearance thus far of Lirian. She likewise first appeared in the diary in #196. She makes eighteen additional appearances in Start of Darkness.
  • This is the final appearance of the Fairy Earth Sigil Guardian. The Fairy previously appeared in #51 guarding the Sigil of Earth in the Dungeon of Dorukan.
  • This is the final appearance of the Flame Sprite Fire Sigil Guardian. The Flame Sprite previously appeared off-panel in #52 guarding the Sigil of Fire.
  • This is the final appearance of the Big Green Bird of the Air Sigil. The green bird previously appeared off-panel in #53, and first appeared in #47.
  • SerfWay is a parody of the Subway sandwich chain, but with medieval serfs
  • The song playing is Barry White's Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe from his 1974 album, Can't Get Enough. Since Barry himself is singing in strip, he is listed for a cameo in the Character Index.

External Links Edit