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The Epistle of Durkon
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0305
Comic no. 305
Date published 15 April 2006
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Durkon writes to his superiors for reinstatement in the Dwarven Lands.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Durkon: Hey Roy, lad—I think I've got me letter ta tha High Priest written and ready.
Durkon: Yer good wit words, tho, could ye listen ta it an'tell me what ye think?
Roy: Absolutely. Go right ahead.

Panel 2

Durkon: First, that honoriffics:
Durkon: "Praise ta Thor, whose hammer smooshes tha evil o'tha world."
Roy: Good start.

Panel 3

Durkon: "Praise tha High Priest o'Thor. May his beard e'er be soaked in ale rather than vomit."
Roy: A traditional dwarven blessing, I take it?
Durkon: Aye.

Panel 4

Durkon: "Dear High Priest:"
Durkon: "Thank ye very much fer sendin' me on tha fascinatin' mission ta human lands. Just as ye said, I've learn'd much aboot our human friends in me time here."

Panel 5

Durkon: "Since it's bin almost 18 years since ye first sent me away from dwarven lands, tho, I think it might be helpful ta allow me ta come home, s'that I c'n share what I've learn'd wit tha other dwarves."

Panel 6

Durkon: "I'd also like ta see me Ma an'Granpappy, since I was unable ta see 'em before ye sent me away."

Panel 7

Flashback to the Dwarven Lands where Durkon is being tossed out of the Temple of Thor by two of Hurak's guards.
Durkon (inset): "While I'd never question yer worshipfulness's judgm'nt, I imagine that tha manner in which I wuz asked ta leave so sudd'nly might've caused them ta wonder what happen'd ta me fer all these years."

Panel 8

Durkon: "Ye can send yer reply ta this mess'nger, who'll bring it back ta me."
Durkon: "Yer servant in the holy name o' Thor, Durkon Thundershield."

Panel 9

Roy: Sounds good, Durkon. Here, let me check it for spelling.

Panel 10

Praise ta Thor, whose hammer smooshes tha evil o'tha world.
Praise tha High Priest o'Thor. May his beard e'er be soaked in ale rather than vomit.


Dear High Priest:
     Thank ye very much fer sendin' me on tha fascinatin' mission ta human lands. Just as ye said, I've learn'd much aboot our human friends in me time here. Since it's bin almost 18 years since ye first sent me away from dwarven lands, tho, I think it might be helpful ta allow me ta come home, s'that I c'n share what I've learn'd wit tha other dwarves.
     I'd also...


Panel 11

Roy: Ummm... You do know that you don't need to transcribe your accent?
Durkon: Transcribe my what, now?
Roy: Never mind.

Trivia Edit

  • This is some of the first exposition of how Durkon was exiled from the dwarven lands. Very little else is told of this story until #947 (after the end of Blood Runs in the Family), when bits of Durkon's past begin to be revealed. This particular incident is remembered in #1007.
  • This is the first appearance of Hurak's Dwarf tossers. They will appear again in #1007.

External Links Edit

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