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The Cat Behind the Throne

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The Cat Behind the Throne
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 267
Date published 13 January 2006
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The Order is brought to trial, and the judge seems biased.

Contents

[edit] Cast

Roy, Elan, Haley, Hinjo, Lord Shojo, Mr. Scruffy, Being of Pure Law and Good

[edit] Transcript

Panel 1

Lord Shojo: Whuh? Huh?
Lord Shojo: Oh, uh congratulations, young paladins. You have--

Panel 2

Hinjo: No, Your Lordship, these aren't the new 1st-level paladins. These are the people Miko brought back.
Lord Shojo: Oh! Right! Terrible business, there, about that gate.

Panel 3

Lord Shojo: You stand accused of weakening the very fabric of the universe in which we live. Your trial shall thus commence immediately to determine if you are guilty or innocent. Should you be found guilty--

Panel 4

Roy: Excuse me! Excuse me, sir, my name is Roy Greenhilt.
Roy: This is all very interesting, but I'm just wondering: Who the tell are you people to come up from the South into our lands and capture us? Who gave you the right??

Panel 5

Lord Shojo: A good question. Allow me to consult my legal advisor.
Lord Shojo: Mr. Scruffy, what gives the Sapphire Guard the right to cross national borders in pursuit of those who threaten existence?
Mr. Scruffy: Meow.

Panel 6

Lord Shojo: Ah, yes, Mr. Scruffy reminds me that the Sapphire Guard has been given their holy powers by the Twelve Gods of the South to protect the gates...
Lord Shojo: And since the gods are not limited in their jurisdiction, neither are we.

Panel 7

Lord Shojo: Further, Mr. Scruffy goes on to point out that while yes, Lord Shojo -- that's me -- is ALSO the secular ruler of Azure City, his post as Sapphire Commander is separate and unrelated.
Lord Shojo: He has had you captured strictly on the authority of the gods, not on behalf of his beloved city.

Panel 8

Roy: ...
Roy: I'm sorry, I'm having trouble processing that answer on account of it being dispensed by a friggin' housecat!

Panel 9

Roy: Hinjo, please tell me this is what passes for a joke among paladins. We're not really going to have our fate decided by this guy, are we?
Hinjo: Oh, no. Lord Shojo will be managing the trial, but he will not be rendering the verdict.

Panel 10

Roy: Whew!
Hinjo: For that, our clerics have summoned a being of pure Law and Good from the Upper Planes to render judgment.

Panel 11

Being of Pure Law and Good: Vengeance shall be brought upon the guilty! There shall be no excuses! A cleansing fire will burn them!

Panel 12

Roy: Yeah, y'know, on second thought, is it too late to go with the old guy and the cat?
Lord Shojo: Guards! Summon the holy kitty litter! Mr. Scruffy demands poopsies!

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