|“Terms and Conditions Apply”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||8 February 2016|
|View the comic|
Roy deals with the new High Priestess of Hel.
- Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶
- Veldrina ◀ ▶
- High Priests of the Northern Pantheon:
- Panel 1
Veldrina: Roy! Are you OK? Do you need healing?
Roy: I'm fine. They weren't even attacking, just trying to get past me.
Veldrina: Are you going to fight the new High Priestess of Hel now?
- Panel 2
Roy: I'm not her bodyguard. When the guy pretending to be Durkon transferred his position, I lost my formal status.
High Priestess of Odin: ...Yes, I am afraid.
- Panel 3
Veldrina: Wow, how did you know that's how it works?
Roy: I just guessed the single most frustrating way to rules-lawyer it.
- Panel 4
High Priestess of Freya: The covenant between the gods is explicit—an attack on any attendee by an outside force is an attack on all.
High Priestess of Sif: We'd be bound to defend her, or at least not interfere while Hel's allies killed you.
High Priest of Freyr: Maybe even in ways we couldn't fix!
- Panel 5
Roy: Honestly, I've got half a mind to take one for the team and try anyway. Being dead's not so bad.
Roy: I've got a cool little nightlight with my name on it, and I could go with some home cooking.
- Panel 6
Roy: But even if I kill her before they toast me, that wouldn't tie this all up with a neat bow.
Roy: If I die, my team falls apart and Big X moves into scoring position—and everyone is right back here voting in a week or two.
Roy: Recent lesson, connected to that "dying" thing: Noble sacrifices only make sense when they solve the problem at hand.
- Panel 7
Roy: The only way the world stays saved is if this vote fails and we never have another one.
Veldrina: But...now everyone knows about Hel's plan to suck up all the dwarf souls ant take over! There's no way they'll side with her again.
Roy: Oh, right. Because no one's ever voted for oppressive safety over risky freedom before.
- Panel 8
High Priestess of Sif: I'm afraid he is right. Loki's words may have convinced some of our deities to give mortals one more chance, but is the situation worsens... who knows?
High Priest of Balder: I still don't get why they were voting! And where did all those vampires come from?!?
- Panel 9
Roy: That, I can answer.
Roy: That staff has a bunch of obscure necromancy spells in it. I'm guessing he burned a lot of charges getting them all up on their feet.
- Panel 10
High Priestess of Hel: That staff is the property of the Church of Hel, and the official regalia of the high priest.
High Priestess of Hel: I hereby issue a formal request that it be turned over at once, in accordance with protocol.
Roy: Oh, of course, gotta follow protocol.
- Panel 11
Roy breaks the staff in half with a loud "SNAP!".
- Panel 12
Roy tosses the staff pieces to the High Priestess, smacking her in the face with them, "SMACK!"
Roy: The Order of the Stick is not responsible for any damage that may occur during the delivery of unholy relics.
D&D Context Edit
- A "rules laywer" is a player who attempts to use the letter of the rules without reference to the spirit in order to gain advantage in the game.
- Magic items such as staffs and wands have "charges" which limit the number of times they can be used.
- Roy's mom makes him some of her special jambalaya in #600.
- This is the final appearance of the High Priestess of Hel, Frontarch of the church of Hel. She was a Creed of the Stone cleric who was turned to a vampire by "Durkon". She first appeared in #994.
- Malack's staff, which first appeared alongside him and eventually ended up in the possession of "Durkon" is snapped in half by Roy.