Takes One to Know One
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 957
Date published 4 July 2014
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Belkar is on to "Durkon"'s con, so the vampire elects to use his weak will to eliminate him as a problem.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Belkar: Hey! HEY! Dead-for-brains! Don’t think you’re getting off that easy!
Belkar: I know you’re up to no good, and probably not that much neutral either.

Panel 2

Inside Durkon's head
"Durkon": Ugh, your stubborn halfling friend again. Quick, show me a memory that will help me fool him.
"Durkon": Something deeply personal that only the two of you would know.

Panel 3

Durkon's memory shows an error page:

 The memory you searched
 for could not be found.

 Did you mean:
 Physical altercations with BelkarSpontaneous nicknames from BelkarOlfactory insults from Belkar

"Durkon"Damn it!

Panel 4

On deck
Belkar: You don’t think I can tell when someone’s faking cooperation to slide under Roy’s nose?
Belkar: I invented that scam! You’re infringing on my patent!

Panel 5

"Durkon": But I just saved tha ship from tha storm. Dinnae that prove tha I’m—
Belkar: The ship you’re on! You’re just saving your own dry flaky skin. I’ve done it dozens of times.
Belkar: Except my skin is toned and supple!

Panel 6

"Durkon": Belkar, lad, I dinnae understand why ye cannae just accept tha it’s jus’ me, good ol’ Durkon—only wit fangs and a new outlook.
Belkar: The fangs, I can handle. I’ve got no problem with fangs. It’s the outlook I don’t buy.

Panel 7

Belkar: I was there when Durkon died, and no way does he flip from forgiving me for not saving him to slurping my blood in 90 seconds.
Belkar: People don’t just change who they are in an instant. It doesn’t work like that. It takes time, so you don’t even know you’re changing.
Belkar: Until one day, you’re just a bit different than you used to be and you can’t even tell what the hell happened.

Panel 8

"Durkon": Aye, but I was under tha magical compulsion o’ Malack when I awoke! ‘E ordered me ta drink yer blood.

Panel 9

Belkar: You can put on the funny accent and play dress-up, but I’m on to you.
Belkar: And FYI: I spent months trapped behind enemy lines where the only things I was allowed to kill were undead. So I’ve gotten pretty good at it, really.
Belkar: What do you say to that?

Panel 10

"Durkon" dominates Belkar.
"Durkon": Jump overboard.

Panel 11

Belkar leaps over the rail.
Belkar: Wheeeeee!

Panel 12

No longer dominated, Belkar hangs by his cloak from the barbed tip of a ballista bolt.
Voice #1 (off-panel)Halfling overboard!!
Voice #2 (off-panel): Aww, looked like the little guy jumped!
Belkar: I am going to shove the sunshine so far up where the sun don’t shine that you will vomit nothing but warm summer days!!

D&D Context Edit

  • As a vampire "Durkon" can Dominate people with his gaze, forcing them to perform actions against their will.

External Links Edit

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