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Standardized Testing

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Standardized Testing
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 133
Date published 30 December 2004
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Belkar has to pass a test of combat before becoming a barbarian. Points for guessing the outcome.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Belkar and Gortok stand in an arena. Banners with runes hang on the walls.
Belkar: Nice ceremonial arena you've got yourself here.
Gortok: Thank you. Guild arena used for ritual combat, coming-of-age sacrifices, and as mosh pit for local alternative rock bands.

Panel 2

Gortok: Now, Barbarian Guild can't allow anyone to join. There must be a test first.
Belkar: Yeah? Bring it on.

Panel 3

Gortok: You must defeat one of the guild's lower level members in personal combat to be true barbarian.
Gortok: You may choose to face any one of these 3 barbarians:

Panel 4

Gortok: Kuurkk the Anemic!
Kuurkk: I'm feelig a little woozy here...

Panel 5

Gortok: Lokor the Chronically Insecure!
Lokor: You'll probably beat me. Sigh.

Panel 6

Gortok: Or Hak-Tonog the Moderately Incontinent!
Hak-Tonog: Can you excuse me for one moment?

Panel 7

Belkar: Hmmm, a multiple choice test, then? Well, in that case, I choose...

Panel 8

Belkar disarms Kuurkk, "swoosh!".

Panel 9

Belkar kills Kuurkk with a dagger, "schlurk!", kicks Lokor in the face.

Panel 10

Belkar kills Lokor with his other dagger, "schlunk!"

Panel 11

Belkar jumps over Hak-Tonog.

Panel 12

Belkar kills Hak-Tonog, throwing him backwards and impaling him on Lokor's spear, "splortch!"
Belkar: ...D! All of the Above!

Panel 13

Gortok: It, uh... it was not supposed to be a fight to the death.
Belkar: Trust me, they're better off now.
Gortok: Yeah, you're probably right.

D&D Context Edit

  • When a character takes a level in a new class (a multiclass character) some story of how they trained or studied to gain these new abilities usually woven into the story.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the only appearance for Kuurkk the Anemic, Lokor the Chronically Insecure, and Hak-Tonog the Moderately Incontinent.

External Links Edit

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