Sore Loser
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 355
Date published 2 October 2006
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Roy defeats Sabine.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Julia: Two weeks ago, I was kidnapped from my school by a human named Nale and his evil party of adventurers which included a half-orc, a half-elf, a kobold, and either a demon or a devil, I'm not really sure which.
Julia: They lured my brother—and, apparently, his band of good adventurers—here to Cliffport, and now they're having a big fight scene.
Julia: Now can I stop explaining what's going on here and deliver this healing potion?

Panel 2

Chief: So the giant bear is...
Julia: Evil.
Chief: And the giant dwarf is...
Julia: An oxymoron.

Panel 3

Chief: Cute.
Chief: So your brother rescued you from these bad guys?
Julia: As if. I escaped on my own.
Chief: I see. So, then where is your brother right now?

Panel 4

Cut to Roy battling Sabine.
Sabine: Die, mortal! Can't you see that you're doomed to lose??

Panel 5

The spells on Sabine wear off.
Sabine: Uh oh.

Panel 6

Roy: Oh, definitely. I mean, unless I manage to wait until all of your enhancement spells wear off.
Roy: Oh look! They just did.
Sabine: Stupid one-minute-per-level durations!
Sabine: Whose dumb idea was it to only get an apprentice wizard for the Guild, anyway?

Panel 7

Sabine: OK! OK, I surrender. You've beaten me fair and square.
Roy: Excellent. I'm glad you can see—

Panel 8

Sabine lets down her hair.
Sabine: Which means that I'm all yours now.
Roy: Whoa, what??
Sabine: You've captured me in battle. I belong to you now. You can do anything you want with me.

Panel 9

Sabine unbuttons her shirt.
Sabine: To the victor goes the spoils. And what better way to get back at Nale for kidnapping your baby sister?
Sabine: You can't honestly tell me this didn't cross your mind while we were fighting, can you?
Sabine: I promise: this time, when I manhandle you, it will feel a LOT better.

Panel 10

Roy: Anything I want, you say?
Sabine: Anything.

Panel 11

Roy knocks Sabine out the window, "KEEYSH!!!"

Panel 12

Roy: Hey, you were right. That DID feel better than before.
Roy: Nice piercings, though.
Roy tosses a piece of jewelry out the window. Sabine crashes to the ground off-panel with a "WHURNK!"

D&D Context Edit

Trivia Edit

  • It was Sabine herself who suggested getting an apprentice wizard, in #252.

External Links Edit

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