|“Someone Should be Wearing Safety Goggles”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||5 April 2008|
|View the comic|
O-Chul tries to lie, but he used Charisma as his dump stat.
- Panel 1
O-Chul: Go to Hell, goblin.
Redcloak: Hmmmm. Unlikely.
Redcloak: If the Snarl escapes its prison uncontrolled, it won't merely kill us. It will unmake us, dissolving our existence.
Redcloak: There will be no Afterlife for us, punitive or otherwise, just nothingness.
- Panel 2
Redcloak: What I find really fascinating is that all of the accounts I've heard of the rifts from before the five Gates were ever built describe the Snarl reaching out and consuming those nearby.
Redcloak: Yet it hasn't stepped one tangled foot outside that rift in what, four months?
Redcloak: I wonder if the remaining Gates somehow prevent it from noticing the unsealed rifts now?
- Panel 3
Redcloak: Lucky for you, I'm not one of those clerics who relies solely on faith. I believe in the scientific method.
Redcloak: That's why I'm going to have one of those two groups of human slaves hurled off the left side of the tower, into the open rift.
- Panel 4
A group of human slaves is being held by Hobgoblins on top of a tower
Redcloak (inset): Mind you, I don't expect any of them to come back, but I figure if I send eight in at once, one of them might scream some relevant empirical data before they are undone by the Snarl.
- Panel 5
Redcloak: The second group is the control.
Redcloak: We'll push them off the other side.
- Panel 6
Redcloak: Of course, if I were to suddenly learn how Girard's Gate was protected, I wouldn't have time to indulge my experimental curiosity, would I?
Redcloak: I'd need to get ready to leave this city right away.
- Panel 7
O-Chul: And I suppose, in this fantasy of yours, you would let me go?
Redcloak: Do I look like I'm running a catch-and-release program? No, you'll be killed as soon as I have what I need from you.
- Panel 8
Redcloak: But then I—and Xykon, and our most powerful allies—would depart, leaving your precious city to be held only by common hobgoblins.
Redcloak: And we would have little reason to return... should your people manage to reclaim control.
Redcloak: It is the best, most realistic chance of Azure City ever knowing freedom.
- Panel 9
O-Chul: Very well. If my sacrifice can lead to the safety of my city, then it would be wrong not to make it freely.
O-Chul: After all, even with this information, there is a chance that Lord Hinjo and his allies will thwart you.
- Panel 10
O-Chul: Girard's Gate is protected by an elaborate maze, hidden with mighty illusions and sealed from all forms of magical intrusion.
O-Chul: Only by answering the riddles within can one reach the center, but the answer are encoded in that diary that Xykon carries with him.
- Panel 11
Redcloak: I can't believe it.
Redcloak: Wow. Just... After all this time...
- Panel 12
Redcloak: I have finally found the very WORST liar in the entire world.
- Panel 13
O-Chul: I was a fighter for 12 years before I was recruited as a paladin! Charisma seemed like a safe dump stat at the time!!
Redcloak: Next time, spring for cross-class skill ranks.
Redcloak: THROW IN THE FIRST GROUP!
D&D Context Edit
- In order to successfully lie to Redcloak, O-Chul would need to have a successful Bluff check. Bluff is a skill governed by the Charisma ability.
- A "dump stat" is an ability score that is not important to a character class and thus low ability score rolls can be placed there during character creation.
- Cross-class skills are twice as expensive as in-class skills.
- A control group in a scientific experiment receives either no treatment or a standard treatment in order to minimize the effects of variables other than that being tested.