Senility Now!
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 289
Date published 4 March 2006
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Shojo explains his ruse of senility.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Lord Shojo: Your second-in-command, despite apparently not speaking Common, is as astute as she is lovely.
Lord Shojo: I'm afraid I have been pulling the proverbial wool over your eyes.

Panel 2

Lord Shojo: Why don't we speak on the balcony? I find my legs get so tired these days from sitting on that throne for hours.
Roy: When did he become sane?
Lord Shojo: Also, we can finally turn the spotlights off.

Panel 3

Lord Shojo: I apologize for the "Mr. Scruffy" deception. You see, while you have seen only clerics and paladins, I can assure you that Azure City has a very active noble class.
Lord Shojo: Any number of whom might feel they could profit from my demise.

Panel 4

Flashback to an assassination attempt on Shojo.
Lord Shojo (inset): A few years ago, I narrowly escaped an assassination attempt—one that resulted from an unpopular edict I had issued.
Assassin: THIS is what we think of Meat Loaf Day!

Panel 5

Lord Shojo: Ever since that day, I have found it easier to let them believe that I am senile and easily swayed.
Lord Shojo: When I rule in their favor, they assume that they controlled me.
Lord Shojo: When I rule against them, they assume that one of their rival nobles controlled me.

Panel 6

Lord Shojo: I can make the decisions I feel are necessary without worrying about being killed over them.
Roy: And no one knows?
Lord Shojo: No one.

Panel 7

Roy: Why are you telling me this, then?
Lord Shojo: Because I have some things to say to you, and some things to ask you, and I want you to take me seriously.

Panel 8

Roy: Well gosh, letting me know that you're apparently a very skilled liar is definitely a step in the right direction.
Roy: Doesn't exactly seem very paladinish of you, either.

Panel 9

Lord Shojo: Mr. Greenhilt, I am the commander of the paladins of the Sapphire Guard by virtue of my inheritance, not merit.
Lord Shojo: In other words, I command the paladins. I have never claimed to be one.

Panel 10

Roy: Wait, you're not a paladin??
Lord Shojo: Technically, I'm a 14th level aristocrat. Heck, I'm not even Lawful!

Panel 11

Roy: So you're telling me... this whole time... this whole trial, I've been fooled...
Roy: I've been fooled by someone... someone with... with...

Panel 12

Lord Shojo: By someone with an NPC class, I'm afraid so.
Roy: I feel dirty inside.

D&D Context Edit

  • Aristocrat is an NPC class, which are much worse than the PC classes (e.g. Fighter, Wizard, Ranger).
  • Common is the basic language of the world.

Trivia Edit

External Links Edit

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