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Saddest. Comic. Ever.

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Saddest. Comic. Ever.
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 84
Date published
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"Pillow Talk" "The Elder Puppet"
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Durkon gives Hilgya a lecture on what it really means to be a dwarf.

Contents

[edit] Cast

Hilgya Firehelm and Durkon Thundershield.

[edit] Transcript

Panel 1

Hilgya: What's wrong?
Durkon: "What's wrong?" Yer freak'n married, tha's what's wrong!!

Panel 2

Hilgya: Yeah, but I told you, I ran away from that. It didn't make me happy.
Durkon: Happy? HAPPY? what tha heck does happiness have to do wit' bein' a dwarf??

Panel 3

Durkon: Ye were married in tha eyes of the gods an' our ancestors! Ya can't just ignore that when it strikes yer fancy!!
Hilgya: Oh, golly, I'm soooo sorry I can't get worked up by what a bunch of dead dwarves think about my personal life. MY personal life, as in MY business.

Panel 4

Durkon: Ugh, listen to ya! Ye sound like one of the humans, with their "If it feels groovy, do it," and their "inalienable right to the pursuit of happiness."

Panel 5

Hilgya: Hey, I like living among the humans. At least THEY don't shackle me with stupid rules about my love life. I thought you felt the same way. Why else would you be traveling with them?
Durkon: Are ye kidding??

Panel 6

Durkon: I hate livin' in human lands! Everythin's too big, and too bright, and too warm, and I ain't had a decent mug o' lager in five years. I stay here 'cause the High Priest of Thor commanded me to go forth 'nto human lands, until I was called fer by him.

Panel 7

Durkon: I stay 'ere because it's me duty. And bein' a dwarf is about doin' yer duty, even if it makes ye miserable. ESPECIALLY if it makes ye miserable!

Panel 8

Hilgya: But...I think I might love you!
Durkon: My mum taught me tha' I should always take feelings like that, and bury them inna deep dark part o' my soul and nev'r ev'r talk about 'em again. That's tha dwarven way.

Panel 9

Durkon: Yer duty as a dwarf is ta go home and be wit' yer husband.
Hilgya: Are- are you telling me to leave?

Panel 10

Durkon: ... Aye.

Panel 11

Hilgya runs away, crying.

Panel 12

Durkon heads off in the other direction with a tear in his eye.

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