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Running Away
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0623
Comic no. 623
Date published 17 January 2009
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Vaarsuvius' nightmare.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

A group of soldiers flee through Azure City.
Azure Soldier #1: The caves are over this way!
Azure Soldier #2: Wait for me!

Panel 2

Male Soldier #1 runs into something invisible, "WUNNK!"
Male Soldier #1: Ooof!

Panel 3

Male Soldier #1: What the—? Hey, I just ran into something invisible right here!
Male Soldier #3: It must be the elf!

Panel 4

Female Soldier: Use your magic! Save us!!
Male Soldier #1: Blast them to bits!
Male Soldier #3: No, turn us invisible too!
Female Soldier: No, just teleport us out of here!
Male Soldier #2: They're coming...

Panel 5

Female Soldier: Just do something! I know you're there, I can hear you breathing!
Male Soldier #1: Can't you do anything??
Male Soldier #3: Just help us, please!
Male Soldier #1: You're supposed to be the hero here!
Male Soldier #2: Twelve Gods... there are so many of them...

Panel 6

Three hobgoblins catch up to them and kill the three male soldiers, "shlack! schlnk!"
Female Soldier: Help us, please!
Male Soldier #3: Help us!
Male Soldier #2: Help—

Panel 7

Hobgoblin #1: Who do you think they were asking for help from, anyway?
Hobgoblin #2: Probably their stupid animal gods.
A hobgoblin stabs the female soldier, "shthurk!"
Female Soldier: Unnnh!

Panel 8

Female Soldier: Elf, if you're still here...
Female Soldier: I hope you choke on your useless goddamn magic.

Panel 9

The female soldier dies.

Panel 10

Cut to Vaarsuvius.
Vaarsuvius: *GASP!*
Vaarsuvius: NO!

Panel 11

Vaarsuvius: No...I must not trance...it is... inefficient.
Vaarsuvius: Yes, it is inefficient to review the same memory, over and over.
Vaarsuvius: And over.

Panel 12

Vaarsuvius: Nowhere does it state that I must trance in order to regain spells. I must merely rest. Rest for eight hours.
Vaarsuvius: I must not engange[sic] in any demanding mental tasks.
Vaarsuvius: I must empty my mind completely, while still progressing at my task.

Panel 13

Vaarsuvius reads, "Finding Plot Holes for DUMMIES".
Vaarsuvius: Ahhh... Perfect.

D&D Context Edit

  • In Panel 12, Vaarsuvius references the D&D 3.5e rules for preparing wizard spells, specifically the precise wording of the "rest" requirement.

Trivia Edit

External Links Edit

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