Probably About an "8"
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 620
Date published 7 January 2009
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Haley agrees to the deal with the Guild despite Belkar's approval.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Haley: Sorry, you've failed to make your case. Anyone who has a drink that needs cooling, get ready for some ice cubes!
Belkar: Damn it, now I'm thirsty, too!
Celia: Haley, listen! A compromise is our best chance of bringing back Roy!

Panel 2

Haley: Doubt it. It'll be easy to contact Durkon tomorrow, we just need to wait for him.
Belkar: Yeah, uh, about that... the cleric skipped town in the middle of the fight.
Belkar: Right after he returned my mojo to the upright locked position.

Panel 3

Haley: Damn it!
Haley: Did he finish casting the Sending first?
Belkar: How should I know? I was still in full Hippie Vision Quest mode until then!
Haley: Huh?

Panel 4

Hank: None of the other clerics in this town will contact your dwarf for us if you kill Bozzok, I promise. You'll be right back to Square One.
Haley: Grrrrr. OK, fine, let's hear your big spectacular compromise. But I'm making no promises that I won't still make orc-flavored sno-cones for everyone.

Panel 5

Hank: OK, the deal all revolves around this: You never actually quit the Thieves Guild at all.
Haley: Uh, yes I did.
Celia: No, you didn't.
Haley: Hank, you were THERE. I totally DID quit!

Panel 6

Hank: Yes, OK, obviously, you did quit. But we spread the word around town that you didn't, really—that all appearances to the contrary were part of a clever ruse.
Hank: We tell people that you were actually on a secret undercover mission, infiltrating an adventuring party.
Hank: That way, the Guild keeps its rep intact—and they have no reason to try to kill you.

Panel 7

Hank: Hell, our rep improves if we also let slip that you blew back into town carrying the bones of your former party leader.
Hank: Every party of heroes in the North will need to employ a Guild-approved rogue, or wonder if their supposed freelancer is really an assassin, planted by us to punish them for hiring scabs!

Panel 8

Hank: And if you were always a Guild member all along—
Haley: Oh, gods, I see it now: If I was always a licensed Guild member, then my theft at Grubwiggler's castle MUST have been an approved guild burglary.
Celia: Exactly.

Panel 9

Haley: Which means the Guild must withdraw any protection it provides to Grubwiggler in order to keep up the illusion that this was planned all along.
Haley: Heck, it would be in their best interest to help us break in again! We'll have Roy's body back in our hands before the weekend!

Panel 10

Hank: So, that's the short version of the deal: You stop killing Guild members, and we all help you get your leader back.
Haley: Well... I have to think about it. I mean, I guess it seems like a—
Belkar: I think they've worked out a good plan to end this pointless conflict without any more lives lost, and I support it fully.
Belkar: Let's stop the violence.

Panel 11

Haley and Celia look at Belkar in alarm. Belkar grins.
Hank: There, see? Even your other party member agrees which means—

Panel 12

Haley runs and Celia flies off stage right.
Hank: Huh?
Belkar: Humans! Go figure, right?
Belkar: Say, how well-stocked is the Guild's pantry? On a scale of 1 to 10?

Trivia Edit

  • Halflings in D&D are based on J.R.R. Tolkien's race of Hobbits (which indeed are sometimes called halflings in his literature by other races). Tolkien's hobbits are known for their fondness for eating, a trait that is exhibited by Belkar over the last few comics which he appears in.
  • Belkar decided to turn over a new leaf (or at least appear to) in #606, which is why is is not acting like himself. This new side of Belkar scares the girls who don't know what it means and assume it will lead to murder and death since that is the Belkar they know.
  • The title answer's Belkar's question from the last panel.

External Links Edit

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