Plus, He Probably Spits, Too
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 682
Date published 1 October 2009
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Balkar helps out by disengaging Durkon from the date palm.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Roy: I got all that I needed from the mapmaker, so here's the plan: We travel north with this caravan for the first few days, over the rocky parts.
Roy: Then, we'll split off at the first oasis and head west into the open desert, using the sun and stars as guides.
Roy: Any questions?
Elan: Oooo! Oooo! Oooo! Oooo!
Roy: No, we cannot get our own camel.
Elan: Awwwww!

Panel 2

Elan: Why not? They store water for up to 12 days, and we'll need water in the desert!
Roy: They store water for themselves, Elan. They don't have a tap on the side for us to get a quick drink when we need it!

Panel 3

Roy: Durkon can create all the water we'll need during—wait. Where's Durkon?
Elan: Oh, uh, he stopped to pick a fight with a palm tree a while back.
Roy: For the love of—
Belkar: No fears, Roy. The New and Improved Belkar Bitterleaf will bring you both what you want.

Panel 4

Belkar and Mr. Scruffy walk a while.

Panel 5

Belkar arrives at the date palm that Durkon is attacking.
Belkar: Hey, Dwarf-for-Brains, we're moving out.
Durkon: Na now, Belkar!
Durkon: I think I finally got 'im on tha ropes!

Panel 6

Durkon: I'll nay let ye corrupt this fine town, ye date-bearing bitch!
Durkon sitting near the top of a bend-down-palmtree, hits the top with his hammer, "thunk!"
Belkar: Ooooookay. Jump up, Mr. Scruffy.

Panel 7

With Belkar and Mr. Scruffy's weight, the tree bends more, "creeeee..."
Durkon: Ye've come ta lend aid? Good man!
Belkar: Not exactly, on either count. Jump down Mr. Scruffy.

Panel 8

Tree springs back, "sproing!", causing Durkon to fall on the ground, "WUMP!"

Panel 9

Durkon: Och, mebbe yer right, Belkar. Mebbe I should jus' come—
Belkar: Hold that thought.

Panel 10

Durkon's hammer falls on his head, "thonk!"

Panel 11

Durkon and Belkar return to the order, Durkon got a bruise around a eye and a bump on his head.
Belkar: See? You wanted the dwarf back, and Elan wanted a shaggy, smelly, ill-tempered beast with a hump. Everyone's happy!
Belkar: I love helping people!

Trivia Edit

  • Belkar decided to be more helpful in #606.
  • Durkon's irrational fear of trees is a #Durkon's fear of trees|running gag.
  • Camels do not store water in their humps as was once commonly believed. The hump is a fat store. Camels do have other adaptations which make them tolerant of dehydration. As the title quips, camels are also known to spit, something Durkon is not known for.
  • This is the first appearance of the Female Camel Drover.

External Links Edit

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