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Pillow Talk
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0083
Comic no. 83
Date published 30 June 2004
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Durkon and Hilgya share their stories.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Hilgya and Durkon are lying together in the dark underneath a blanket.

Panel 2

Durkon: That... that was... ach...
Hilgya Firehelm: I'm glad you liked it.

Panel 3

Durkon: I've never... I mean... I nev'r... actually, y'know.
Hilgya: Yeah, I kinda figured. It's OK.

Panel 4

Hilgya: So, where are we going from here?
Durkon: Well, I still be needin' t'find Roy and tha rest.
Hilgya: Can't you just forget about them and stay with me?

Panel 5

Durkon: I've a duty ta them. I cannae walk out onnit. But ye can come wit' us, baby, unless yer duties lie sumplace else.
Hilgya: Oh, no, I don't really have any big plan or anything.

Panel 6

Durkon: Then why did ye come to human lands in tha first place?
Hilgya: To get away from my family, mostly.

Panel 7

Flashback to Hilgya in a shotgun (shot-crossbow?) wedding ceremony.
Hilgya (inset): My clan set me up in an arranged marriage with this guy from another clan, even though I didn't know him.
Ivan: This is the happiest day of my life.

Panel 8

The flashback continues later where Ivan and Hilgya are alone together.
Hilgya (inset): I was miserable, and I hated my clan for it. Ivan was a horrible, cruel man who never stopped hounding me with his endless questions.
Ivan: Would you like a foot massage, sweetie?
Hilgya: You're crushing my spirit!

Panel 9

Cut back to the present.
Durkon: Uh...so did yer husband die, then?
Hilgya: Nah, he's alive and well.

Panel 10

Flashback to Ivan seated for dinner and Hilgya bringing in a sandwich with a huge bottle of poison in the middle.
Hilgya (inset): Not for lack of trying on my part, though. You have no idea how tough that +2 racial bonus against poison is to overcome!
Hilgya: How about a sandwich, honey?
Ivan: Hilgya, you're the greatest!

Panel 11

Cut back to the present.
Hilgya: So I just gave up and ran away from all my responsibilities to my clan and abandoned my marriage.
Hilgya: And now I'm here with you.

Panel 12

Durkon lies there in shocked silence with a horrified look on his face.

D&D Context Edit

  • Dwarves gain a +2 bonus on Saving Throws made against poison effects.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the only appearance of Hilgya's husband, Ivan.

External Links Edit

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