|“One for the FAQ”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||15 June 2008|
|View the comic|
The oracle explains the origin of his power of prophesy.
- Roy Greenhilt (as spirit) ◀ ▶
- Haley Starshine ◀ ▶
- Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶
- Celia ◀ ▶
- The Oracle of the Sunken Valley ◀ ▶
- Panel 1
Haley, Celia, and Belkar approach the Oracle's tower in the Sunken Valley.
Roy: Hey! Oracle! Can you hear me?
Roy: Are you not ABLE to hear me, or are you just ignoring me?
- Panel 2
Inside Roy attempts to speak with the Oracle.
Roy: Yo mama's so fat, they use a grapefruit for her miniature.
Roy: Yo mama's so fat, she can't even see her feats.
Roy: Yo mama's so fat, her Speed is listed as, "Hell no!"
- Panel 3
Roy: Crap, he can't hear me.
- Panel 4
Haley and company enter.
Oracle: Hey, look, return customers. Aren't I lucky?
Oracle: No. No, I am not.
Celia: Wait, the Oracle is a kobold? I thought you guys said he was a halfling.
Belkar: He WAS a halfling!
- Panel 5
Oracle: Yeah, yeah, there's a memory charm on the entire valley that makes you forget everything except your specific questions and answers, and your mind fills in the missing details later, blah blah blah.
Oracle: But since everyone else can just look back through the archives, why don't we cut the recap and get on with it?
- Panel 6
Haley: Our leader, Roy, is dead.
Oracle: As the metaphorical doornail.
Haley: His body is in a cart outside. We want you to raise him from the dead.
Haley: Just tell us how much it'll cost, and we'll go earn the gold.
- Panel 7
Oracle: Oh, I see. Yeah, this sort of mix up happens all the time.
Oracle: I'm not a cleric.
Haley: You're not?
- Panel 8
Oracle: I'm what you would call, "naturally gifted." The Dragon Queen has blessed me with visions of the future without requiring me to earn a bunch of cleric class levels first.
Oracle: It's sort of like getting an honorary Ph. D.
Roy: Sounds more like your mom making you vice president of the family company right after you finish college.
- Panel 9
Celia: How exactly do your future visions work, then?
Oracle: Pixie dust.
Celia: Actually, I'm pretty familiar with pixies, and I don't think—
Oracle: Kobold dust.
- Panel 10
Oracle: So yeah, I hae as much chance of bringing back your leader as I do of scoring with Grendel's hot mom.
Haley: Darn it! I was sure we'd be able to get Roy raised here.
Celia: Well, hold on. We can still ask him questions, can't we?
- Panel 11
Haley: Oh, right! Like, "How can we contact Durkon?"
Celia: Or, "Where is the nearest Good-aligned cleric who can resurrect Roy?"
Belkar: Or, "What strip clubs won't kick you out if your hands 'slip' during a lap dance?"
- Panel 12
Belkar: I can't help you save the world if some bouncer breaks both my arms, can I?
Belkar: I'm thinking of the team first here!
D&D Context Edit
- Roy's mom joke are all D&D based:
- Minatures are used for combat.
- Feats are special abilities; here it is a pun on "feets".
- The base speed for medium creatures is 30 ft/round.
- The party assumed the Oracle was a Cleric because he serves Tiamat and clerics have access to divination magic, such as his prophesy ability.
- Grendel is a monster and the initial antagonist of the 10th century Old English epic poem wikipedia:Beowulf. After defeating Grendel the titular hero does battle with the creature's mother after she takes revenge for her child's injury. At the time this strip was published, the 2007 Robert Zemeckis film was the most recent adaptation. This version featured Angelina Jolie as Grendel's Mother, who was portrayed as a beautiful woman.
- The title suggests that the exposition of the origin of the Oracle's powers will need to be in the www.GiantITP.com FAQ in order to avoid people constantly raising the question.