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One Step Worse Than "Diminutively"
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0786
Comic no. 786
Date published 11 April 2011
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Belkar struggles with either revealing that he did a good deed or not getting credit for causing chaos. But Ian Starshine knows the truth.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Roy and Belkar stand in the gladiator stables of the arena.
Roy: Where the hell have you been?
Belkar: Taking the biggest dump since Elan assigned his Intelligence score. What’s it to you?
Roy: You missed all the excitement. Someone let the big dinosaur loose in the arena, and the two bounty hunters escaped.
Roy: The guards are freaking out trying to figure out who did it.

Panel 2

Belkar: I had nothing to do with that!
Roy: Yeah, I know.
Belkar: ...You do?
Roy: Yep.
Belkar: Well, OK, then.
Roy: OK.

Panel 3

Beat. They begin walking stage left.

Panel 4

Belkar: Just out of curiosity, how do you KNOW that I didn’t set the dinosaur free?
Roy: Uh… I’ve met you?
Belkar: What is that supposed to mean?

Panel 5

Roy: It means that you only do stuff if it gets you something, or if you think it’s funny.
Belkar: A bunch of dead guards is hilarious.
Roy: To you? Yes. But it would have been even funnier to you to watch the big guy have to kill his friend, and THEN release it.

Panel 6

Belkar: Oh. Right.
Belkar: OK. well, yeah. Sounds like you’ve got that figured out.
Roy: Yep.
Belkar: Wasn’t me.
Roy: I know.

Panel 7

Two guards enter. One holds a clipboard.
Clipboard Guard: Alright, they got the allosaurus sedated and back in its cage.
Clipboard Guard: Greenhilt, you’re up. The Champ is on his way.
Roy: I guess this is it. Don’t maim anyone while I’m gone.
Belkar: Right, because I hurt people, I don’t help them.
Roy: ...Right.

Panel 8

Ian Starshine: You’re a master of deceit.
Belkar: Hey, I’m not used to this! I usually rub my action in other people’s faces and laugh!
Belkar: And point! I sometimes point.

Panel 9

Belkar: Aren’t you going to hassle me to admit to Roy that I did it to save their lives?
Ian: Nope. I’m not a big fan of coming clean.
Belkar: Well, geez, I could have told you that the moment I was first downwind from you.

Panel 10

Ian: ‘Course, now that they put the dino down for a nap, there’ll be no way to help your friend out against the Champion.
Belkar: Eh. I’m sure Roy will be fine.

Panel 11

Six soldiers wheel in the Champ, who is chained inside some sort of iron-maiden-like contraption on a cart. Inside, the Champ struggles, "rattle! rattle!" The final soldier holds a massive battleaxe in addition to his sword.
The Champion: rrrrRRRRWWRR

Panel 12

Belkar: “Finely chopped” counts.

D&D Context Edit

  • In the first panel, Belkar refers to a "dump stat" which is when the lowest ability score rolled during character generation is applied to an ability which is not important to the character class being created, e.g. a fighter choosing to have a low intelligence score.
  • The title refers to the size of the Roy pieces that will be left after his fight with Thog. Belkar says "finely chopped" counts as "fine"; the title notes that "finely" means somewhat smaller pieces than if Roy were "diminuatively chopped". In D&D there are nine Size Categories for creatures. Fine is the smallest size: creatures weighing less than 1/8 pound. Diminutive is the next category larger, encompassing creatures weighing more than 1/8 pound and less than one pound. Thus the size of the Roy pieces in this strip are quite specific.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the first appearance of the Champ's Guards.
  • This is only other appearance of the Clipboard Guard's Assistant from #782, Not Yet Met His Match.

External Links Edit

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