|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||5 February 2009|
|View the comic|
The Ancient Black Dragon explains her plans to murder Vaarsuvius' family as vengeance for the destruction of her own child.
- Vaarsuvius (also as macaroni drawing) ◀ ▶
- Ancient Black Dragon ◀ ▶
- Inkyrius ▶
- Vaarsuvius' Auburn-Haired Child ▶
- Vaarsuvius' Green-Haired Child ▶
- Panel 1, Page 1
Outside Vaarsuvius' cottage in Ivyleaf, the voices of his family come from within.
Black Dragon (inset): You have two children, both age 26, left in the care of your mate, in the village of Ivyleaf, in the northern reaches of the Elven Homeland.
Black Dragon (inset): Your cottage is tan, with red shutters.
Black Dragon (inset): I have been there twice already, invisibly...studying it.
Child: <Parent, do you think Other Parent will be returning home soon?>*
Inkyrius: <I'm not sure, Loved One. I think one of these years, certainly.>
Footnote: "* Translated from Elven."
- Panel 2, Page 1
Inside the cottage, Inkyrius serves a bowl of greens to their children.
Auburn-Haired Child: <I hope so, I made a picture of Other Parent from glitter and maccaroni. I would very much like to present it.>
Green-Haired Child: <I helped!>
Auburn-Haired Child: <Did not!>
Inkyrius: <Oh, that is beautiful! I am sure it will be well-received when your Other Parent finishes mastering the ways of magic and comes home.>
Inkyrius: <Now go wash up, both of you. Lunch is ready.>
Black Dragon (inset): They should be home from kindergarten by now, don't you think?
- Panel 3, Page 1
Cut back to Tiny Island, where the Black Dragon is pinning Vaarsuvius to the ground.
Black Dragon: When I am done speaking, I am going to teleport directly there, and then I will eat them alive.
Black Dragon: Slowly.
Black Dragon: Feet-first.
- Panel 1, Page 2
Black Dragon: I will then bind their souls to me with two necromantic scrolls that I acquired for this purpose.
Black Dragon: And I will disappear.
Black Dragon: I will leave this plane of existence, and you will never find me.
- Panel 2, Page 2
Black Dragon: I tell you all of this because it is not enough for me to simply kill you.
Black Dragon: You have taken my baby from me. I demand that you suffer the full measure of pain that I feel.
Black Dragon: As a parent, I am sure you understand.
- Panel 3, Page 2
Vaarsuvius: No! You monstrous—
Vaarsuvius tries to grapple the dragons foot.
Black Dragon: Your struggles are meaningless. If you had any power to stop me, you would have already used it.
Black Dragon: Without your magic, you are nothing. With your magic...you are still less than I am.
- Panel 4, Page 2
Black Dragon: Humanoids. You think that just because my kind has stats for every stage of growth, it is perfectly acceptable to murder our children.
Black Dragon: Let us see how much XP your brood is worth, shall we? It will only take a few minutes.
- Panel 5, Page 2
Black Dragon: Who knows? Maybe I'll go all the way and skin your mate alive for a garment. Perhaps a hat.
Black Dragon: Dismiss Anti-magic Field.
- Panel 6, Page 2
Vaarsuvius leaps up.
Vaarsuvius: You shall not depart this place!
Vaarsuvius: Dimensional Anchor!
- Panel 7, Page 2
Dimensional Anchor misses the Black Dragon.
- Panel 8, Page 2
Black Dragon: Your aim really is terrible these days, isn't it?
Black Dragon: Greater Teleport.
- Panel 9, Page 2
Black Dragon teleports away, "POP!"
- Panel 10, Page 2
Vaarsuvius stands angry, some spell burning around V's hand.
- Panel 11, Page 2
Vaarsuvius stands unbelieving.
- Panel 12, Page 2
Vaarsuvius looks shocked.
- Panel 13, Page 2
Vaarsuvius clutches at his or her head.
D&D Context Edit
- There are 12 age categories for dragons in D&D. They reach their greatest size and power after 1201 years, achieving "Great wyrm" status. This dragon is "Ancient" meaning it is between 801 and 1,000 years old.
- Dimensional Anchor blocks any type of extradimensional travel, including teleportation.
- V seems to have a circumstance penalty to attack rolls due to the extended trance deprivation.
- Greater Teleport allows instantaneous travel with no range limit and always arrives where intended.
- The title refers to the one chance V had to prevent the dragon from attacking his family when V cast dimensional anchor but missed the attack roll.
- This is the first appearance of Vaarsuvius' family: Inyrius, Vaarsuvius' Auburn-Haired Child, and Vaarsuvius' Green-Haired Child.