|“Not to Scale”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||13 February 2007|
|View the comic|
The Sapphire Guard and the Order of the Stick plan for the defense of Azure City against the hobgoblin and undead horde of Xykon.
- Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶
- Haley Starshine ◀ ▶
- Hinjo ◀ ▶
- O-Chul ◀ ▶
- Kubota ◀ ▶
- General Chang ▶
- Sangwaan ◀ ▶
- Azure City Noblewoman ◀ ▶
- An Azure City Officer
- Two troglodytes
- Panel 1, Page 1
The war council is assembled around a table with a scale model of the Azure City defenses and the invading army.
Sangwaan: In the few hours since we learned of the threat, we diviners have done our best to scry the invading army.
Sangwaan: Most of our divinations have been blocked so far, but we have been able to glean some basic information.
Sangwaan: The enemy army seems to have at least 30,000 soldiers, predominantly hobgoblins, and zombies, plus a few siege engines.
Sangwaan: Right now, they are camped 8 miles northeast of the main gate of the city.
- Panel 2, Page 1
Hinjo: They should be here in the morning, or by midday at the latest. General Chang, what's our troop disposition?
- Panel 3, Page 1
General Chang: We have no more than 9000 soldiers within the city limits or close enough to recall in time.
Chang: Swordsmen, pikemen, and archers, mostly, though few have ever seen a real battle.
Chang: We're going to station most of them here, on the city wall, to repel the invaiders.
- Panel 4, Page 1
Hinjo: Um...why does this model have Azure City being guarded entirely by reptilian humanoids?
Chang: Well, we were in a rush, so we used the prepainted plastic miniatures, Lord Hinjo. We kinda had to make due with what we got.
Chang: We didn't even get any human archers, and we opened 30 booster packs.
- Panel 5, Page 1
Chang: The lizardfolk are the archers, the yuan-ti are the pikemen, and the kobolds are the swordsmen.
Hinjo: And the hobgoblins down there are the hobgoblins?
Chang: No, sir, the bugbears are the hobgoblins. The hobgoblins are the zombies.
- Panel 6, Page 1
Hinjo: Please tell me that our changes of victory are better than the chances of finding the right miniatures.
Chang: The hobbo's have us outnumbered 3 to 1, but the defensive fortifications can't be underestimated. Call it an even fight.
- Panel 7, Page 1
Hinjo: An even fight... except for all the undead.
Roy: Zombies? Really? I mean, unless a Michael Jackson video erupts right in the middle of our war, I don't really expect them to do much more than shuffle around.
- Panel 8, Page 1
Roy: Even green troops should be able to handle them as long as they have a slashing weapon armed.
Haley: And all your lizard guys have those little battleaxes, so you're fine.
- Panel 9, Page 1
Hinjo: They don't have battleaxes, because they're not lizardfolk!
Hinjo: They're archers!
Haley: Oh, right. I forgot.
Haley: You should really have them, like, labeled or something.
- Panel 10, Page 1
Hinjo: Look, forget about the zombies, they don't worry me... ghouls do.
Hinjo: One ghoul can paralyze a dozen 1st-level fighters over the course of a battle.
Hinjo: And we think they have a few hundred ghouls.
- Panel 1, Page 2
Hinjo: Sangwaan, how many—
- Panel 2, Page 2
Hinjo: How did you know what I was—
Sangwaan: You were going to ask how many clerics we have that are capable of turning undead
- Panel 3, Page 2
O-Chul: Yeah, but the real question is—
Sangwaan: 249 of them are 3rd level or lower.
O-Chul: I'm over here.
- Panel 4, Page 2
Hinjo: OK...assign one low-level cleric to each squad on the wall.
Chang: Yes, sir. We'll use...let's see... troglodyte miniatures to represent the clerics, then.
Haley: Geez, so they have a chick who can read minds, but she can't find the figures they want in a sealed box...
- Panel 5, Page 2
Hinjo: Their job is to turn undead and heal the soldiers, nothing else.
Hinjo: If their positions is overrun, have them fall back and join another squad. I don't want anyone trying to be a PC out there.
- Panel 6, Page 2
Hinjo: The higher level clerics—along with any arcane spellcasters we have—should stay back here, on the castle, where they can see the whole battle.
Hinjo: I guess we'll use this guy in the robes with the dragon head for them.
- Panel 7, Page 2
Haley: Ooo, that' a half-dragon sorcerer. Can I have that after the meeting?
Haley: What? It's a Rare, I can get 30 gp for it.
- Panel 8, Page 2
O-Chul: And the paladins, Lord? Many are away, but there are at least 100 of us here.
Hinjo: The newbies should stay behind the wall, to defend the citizens in case they breach it.
- Panel 9, Page 2
Hinjo: The rest... you know where they should make their stand.
O-Chul: Yes, my Lord. We will gladly lay down our lives in defense of the tower.
- Panel 10, Page 2
O-Chul: Would you prefer to represent our sacrifice with the red dragon hatchlings, or the fiendish boars?
- Panel 11, Page 2
Cut to a cave with two troglodytes.
Lizardfolk #1: Damn it, more human archers??
Lizardfolk #2: Keep looking, there's got to be at least ONE lizardfolk in there.
D&D Context Edit
- Miniature sets often come in groups of monsters without the choice to know exactly what miniatures come in each set.
- Lizardfolk, Yuan-ti, Kobolds, and Troglodytes are all reptilian monsters in D&D.
- Clerics have the ability to Turn Undead, and at higher levels to Destroy Undead. Turn Undead causes undead to run away. What type of undead can be turned depends on the cleric's level. In this case the low level clerics can turn the zombies but not the ghouls.
- Zombies take reduced damage from blunt and piercing attacks, but full damage from slashing weapons.
- This is the first appearance of General Chang.