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Not Yet Met His Match
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0782
Comic no. 782
Date published 21 March 2011
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Instead of fighting Enor, Roy finds out that he, as #1 seed, gets to fight The Champion. Enor, the #2 seed, gets to fight the #3 seed...Gannji

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Ian Starshine: OK, not bad. I’m always happy to see someone stick it to one of the guards.
Ian: Though pulling it out the other end was probably a step too far...
Gannji: Looks like your little friend got off easy, human.
Roy: I’m pretty sure it was the other guy who got off easy.
Roy: The chances of his guts being used as gastrointestinal floss were pretty high either way, and at least he died before it happened.

Panel 2

Gannji: Maybe I’ll get to fight him next week. It’s a pity you won’t be around to see it after Enor kills you in the arena.
Roy: Yeah, I’m sure my dying thought will be, “Gosh, I hope Belkar will be alright.”

Panel 3

Clipboard Guard: “Gannji?”
Gannji: Here and ready.
Clipboard Guard: You’re next. And let’s see… some guy named, “Enor.”
Gannji: ...What?
Clipboard Guard's Assistant: I think that’s the big blue guy.
EnorHuh?

Panel 4

Gannji: Are we doing some sort of tag team?
Clipboard Guard: Sure. You tag the other guy with the tip of your spear. Let’s go.
Gannji: No, no, no, that’s not possible! He was ranked #2!
Clipboard Guard: Yeah, and you’re ranked #3, so it’s you vs. him.

Panel 5

The panel shows a closeup of the clipboard in the guard's hand. It lists the seedings and matchups for the day's matches:

 1. Roy Greenhilt (Human)———————— 5th
2. Enor (Blue Dragon Thing)─────┐
3. Gannji (Lizardfolk)──────────┘ 4th
4. Offpanalo (Human)────────────┐
5. Notseenicus (Kobold)─────────┘ 3rd
6. Belkar Bitterleaf (Halfling)─┐
7. Eviscerstus (Human)──────────┘ 2nd
8. Vermilius (Human)────────────┐
9. Ceruleaus (Human)────────────┘ 1st
Panel 6

EnorBut I don’t want to fight Gannji!
Guard #1: Well, you should have thought of that before you broke the law.
Roy: Wait, if #2 fights #3... then who does #1 fight?
Clipboard Guard: #1 fights the Champ.

Panel 7

Roy: The… Champ?
Clipboard Guard: Sure. You know, the current titleholder. Nasty piece of work, that one.
Clipboard Guard's Assistant: They keep him in solitary confinement, you know.

Panel 8

Roy: Is he strong?
Clipboard Guard: He has a perfect record. Killed 37 gladiators in a row, including a stone giant. With class levels.
Clipboard Guard: PC class levels, even.

Panel 9

Clipboard Guard's Assistant: Oh man, that fight was awesome.
Clipboard Guard: Yeah, but I liked that time that he ripped the other guy’s head clean off with his bare hands.
Clipboard Guard's Assistant: That was cool, yeah, but it was over way too quickly.
Clipboard Guard: True.

Panel 10

Belkar: Great. How come you get the exciting fight, while I get the wussiest gladiator ever?
Roy: I’m sure it’s all part of an elaborate plan on the universe’s part to make you horribly jealous.
Belkar: Goddamn karma!

D&D Context Edit

  • NPC classes are generally less powerful than PC classes.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the first appearance of the Clipboard Guard's Assistant.
  • The match seedings give the name of Belkar's eviscerated opponent, Evisceratus, as well as the two color-coded gladiators from #778, Vermillius and Ceruleaus, and the name of the kobold gladiator, Notseenicus (last seen in #777).

External Links Edit

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