Not Much Chance of That
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 854
Date published 26 May 2012
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Tarquin and Malack talk out their differences like responsible adults.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Back outside the pyramid, the Linear Guild regroups.
Tarquin: Hey, what was with that Flame Strike? I was in the middle of something there!
Nale: That's what I want to—
Tarquin: Grown-ups are talking, Nale.
Malack: I flame struck because you were wasting everyone's time.

Panel 2

Tarquin: How? I was following my commander's orders to drive them back inside.
Malack: I've been watching you fight for 35 years. No you weren't.

Panel 3

Malack: You were toying with them. Stalling for time so that you could take the measure of your other son in battle.

Panel 4

Tarquin: Well, OK… Perhaps I was combining two objectives, but—
Malack: Quiet! Stop flapping your flat-toothed mouth for one minute!!

Panel 5

Cut to Nale and Sabine. Qarr Gates teleports in with a "pop!"
Qarr: Hey, I'm back. What's going on?
Sabine: Shhhhh!
Sabine: Tarquin and Malack are about to get into it!

Panel 6

Cut back to Tarquin and Malack.
Malack: You were the one who demanded that I put aside my personal grievance for this crucial mission—
Malack: —as per our long-standing protocols.
Malack: But your desire to test the boy's skills is as much a private matter as my vengeance is!

Panel 7

Malack: I will not stand next to my children's murderer while you indulge your paternal curiosity!
Malack: I will not put my family below yours!!

Panel 8


Panel 9

Tarquin: You're absolutely right.

Panel 10

Tarquin: I apologize. I don't know what I was thinking.
Tarquin: I certainly wasn't taking into consideration how stressful this must be for you.

Panel 11

Tarquin: When we face them again, I won't goof around like that.
Malack: …
Malack: Apology accepted.

Panel 12

Tarquin: But you have to admit, that "Nope!" gag was hilarious.
Malack: You always have been willing to go the extra mile for a punchline. Remember the Rajah?
Tarquin: HA! And you said there was no way I'd hold that much creamed spinach in my mouth for the whole coronation!

Panel 13

Qarr: Huh. So much for "it" and the getting into thereof.
Sabine: Uggh, reasonable adults talking out their differences?!? If that catches on, we'll both be out of a job!

D&D Context Edit

  • Once again Qarr uses the non-canonical Teleport spell-like ability which by convention Imps and Succubi possess in Order of the Stick, though by the standard D&D rules they do not have this power. Qarr is also a sorcerer and may be high enough to cast Teleport, but it was established that his teleport differs in its rules from the spell.

Trivia Edit

  • Malack agreed to put aside his vengeance in #822. Nale killed three of Malack's children, a fact that Tarquin reveals in #724.

External Links Edit

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