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Noble is Goodble
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0414
Comic no. 414
Date published 15 February 2007
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The nobles of Azure City show their petty rivalries are more important to them than the defense of the city.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Hinjo: Lien, I want everyone who can't fight loaded onto a ship tonight. Too old, too young, too sick, too weak.
Lien: Sir, that will be thousands. Tens of thousands, maybe more.
Hinjo: Commandeer any private ship you can. Dump any cargo that's not food. Have them sail at dawn—if all goes well, they can come back in a few days.

Panel 2

Chang: A few days? What if the army lays siege, it could take months!
Roy: It won't. Xykon has no interest in the city itself, and he's not terribly patient. He'll try to seize what he wants as soon as he possibly can.
Kubota: Wait—if we KNOW what this guy wants, why don't we just give it to him??
Hinjo: Daimyo Kubota, I can assure you it's not that simple.

Panel 3

Kubota: I don't see any reason why it shouldn't be exactly that easy.
Kubota: Look, "Lord" Hinjo, I know this is your first day on the job and all, but it seems to me that you are rushing this city into a war we don't need to fight and may not win.
Kubota: I propose we send a diplomatic envoy to this Xykon and see if we can't agree to terms.

Panel 4

Hinjo: That's not really viable.
Kubota: Maybe it would be for a man with a little more leadership experience...
Kubota: Someone like myself, perhaps...

Panel 5

Roy: Step back, Mustache Lad.
Roy: You know, this isn't some band of disgruntled peasants upset about the latest tax hike.
Roy: You can't come to terms with an inhuman soulless corpse animated by pure evil. Xykon cares for nothing but your complete and total—

Panel 6

Cut away to the Team Evil camp.
Xykon: YAHTZEE!
Xykon: Yes!
Redcloak: Sir, shouldn't we be planning for tomorrow's battle?
Xykon: Feh, you're just mad because I keep winning fair and square.
Redcloak: Yes, you've figured me out, my desire to formulate a basic strategy for impending invasion is solely because I am unable to roll five of a kind.

Panel 7

Cut back to the war council.
Roy: —destruction.
Kubota: Yes, well, then I see no reason to send my forces into a suicidal battle when other options have not been explored.
Kubota: My samurai and men-at-arms will join me on my personal ship with as many members of my house as I can fit.
Azure City Noblewoman: Indeed! My forces will not participate, either!

Panel 8

Azure City Noble with Beard: May the Twelve Gods forgive you if Azure City falls while under your rule, Hinjo!
The nobles leave.
Hinjo: Well THAT could have gone better.

Panel 9

Hinjo: Of course, men like Kubota don't care if the city falls or not, as long as he comes out of it with his power intact.
Hinjo: Now that they know what we're facing, they'll wonder of the whole thing could be avoided if I suddenly joined my uncle in the afterlife.
Hinjo: I suspect they will move against me shortly...

Panel 10

Roy is holding off a band of ninjas who have appeared stage left.
Roy: I concur.

D&D Context Edit

  • It's something of a minor miracle that Roy was able to Spot the ninjas, considering past performance.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the first strip in which Lien is called by name.
  • This is the final appearance of the Azure City Noblewoman. She first appeared in #412.

External Links Edit

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