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No Scry Zone
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0709
Comic no. 709
Date published 24 March 2010
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Tsukiko informs MITD O'Chul is unscryable due to Xykon's Cloister spell.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Tsukiko: You know, I think this is really kind of weird...
Tsukiko: I think the missing half of this ritual is actually divine, not arcane. No wonder Xykon can't understand it.

Panel 2

MitD: Tsukiko! Tsukiko! I'm back! It's nighttime, I think, so that means you can find my friend!
Tsukiko: Oh, right. It's been such a long day, I pretty much forgot.
Tsukiko: OK, so what's his name?

Panel 3

MitD: O-Chul. Or Mr. Stiffly, either one.
Tsukiko: And what does he look like?
MITD: A human, like you, only bald with a dark blue beard and lots of scars.
Tsukiko: ...
MitD: And a fierce determination in his eyes.

Panel 4

Tsukiko: ...Is he the paladin that we were holding prisoner??
MitD: Yeah, that's him!
Tsukiko: You imbecile, you can't be friends with a paladin!!!
MitD: Why not?
Tsukiko: 'Cause they're jerks!
Demon-Roach: Preach it, sister.

Panel 5

Tsukiko: I know all about paladins, trust me. All they do is boss you around and tell you what you can't do.
Tsukiko: "Don't walk on the grass, don't litter, don't rape the cycle of life with your unclean power." Blah blah lah.
Tsukiko: Trust me, paladins aren't happy unless they're forcing you to be just like them.

Panel 6

MitD: Really? Because it seemed like he wanted me to decide for myself how to act.
Tsukiko: Right, exactly like he does! He's doing it already!

Panel 7

Tsukiko: It doesn't matter anyway, because I can't scry on him.
MitD: But you promised!
Tsukiko: Xykon's been renewing the Cloister spell every few weeks. Your buddy was still here last time he did, so he'll be unfindable for months.
Demon-Roach: Ha! Obscure plot minutiae IN YOUR FACE!

Panel 8

Tsukiko: Scrying on his holy ass to bring him back was the first thing we tried, but only epic magic can find him now.
Tsukiko: And sure Xykon's epic, but divination isn't exactly his forté. Why do you think he always uses those crystal balls?

Panel 9

MitD: I sort of assumed it was just a general yearning for balls of some sort, since he wouldn't have—
Tsukiko: HEY!!
Tsukiko: A man's worth isn't determined by what, if anything, is between his femurs!
Demon-Roach: Two words: Magic fingers.

Panel 10

Tsukiko: Stop being an idiot and pining over an escaped prisoner. You're just going to get Xykon mad if he hears you talking about it.
MitD: Oh, man... I'm right back to the cutting board1
Tsukiko: You mean, "drawing board."
Demon-Roach: Was he ever drawn in the first place?

Panel 11

MitD: Don't worry O-Chul, I'll find you someday.
MitD: Until then, I hope wherever you are, the rain is helping you sleep.

Panel 12

In an unknown location on a tiny scrap of land in the ocean, O-Chul is sleeping in the rain. Lien, sleepless, seeks cover against the rain under a cloak.

D&D Context Edit

  • Obscure plot minutiae: Cloister is an epic-level spell created by Dorukan to protect his castle and the Gate in the dungeon underneath. Not only does it protect against scrying magic and teleportation, but creatures leaving the Cloister are protected for a period of weeks equal to the caster's level (in this case 21+) in the same way, as Celia explained in #532, The Exposition Fairy. Xykon obtained Dorukan's Headband and has been casting the spell on Gobbotopia, starting in #484.

Trivia Edit

  • In #700, Tsukiko told MitD to come back "tonight" and she would find his friend, thus MitD comes back when he thinks it's night time.
  • John Houghtaling invented the Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed in the 1950's. It became a common feature in mid-priced motels from the 1960's to the early 1980's. Magic Fingers is also the name of a song from Frank Zappa's 1971 film 200 Motels. The song is itself a reference to the vibrating bed.
  • O-Chul told MitD that the sound of the rain helps him sleep in #550, +1 BFF.

External Links Edit

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