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No Flair for the Dramatic
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0243
Comic no. 243
Date published 9 November 2005
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Haley tries to rescue her treasure.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Haley is running through the burning inn.
Haley: C'mon, V, hurry!
Vaarsuvius: Patience! I did not prepare Expeditious Retreat this morning.

Panel 2

They come upon Miko.
Haley: Oh. Hello, Miko.
Haley: What brings you here?
Miko: Rescuing the helpless. You?
Haley: Uh... the same.

Panel 3

Miko: Do you require assistance leaving the burning building?
Haley: Uh, no, no, we're fine. Do you?
Miko: No.
Haley: OK, then.

Panel 4

beat

Panel 5

Haley: Well, it was nice getting a chance to talk like this.
Haley: Gotta run.
Miko: Of course.

Panel 6

They part ways.
Haley: Witch.
Miko: Criminal.

Panel 7

Haley: OK, the safe room is right through here.
Haley: Now, my bags of Holding are still full with the treasure from Xykon's dungeon, so we're going to have to carry only what we can.

Panel 8

Haley: Just gotta... pick the lock...
Haley picks the lock on the safe room.

Panel 9

Haley: My gods! They're so beautiful! How could I ever pick one bag over another??
Haley: It's like "Sophie's Choice" all over again!

Panel 10

Haley: I can't do it! I can't pick just one! I'd rather die than condemn the rest of my treasure to a fiery grave!

Panel 11

Haley: Go on without me, Vaarsuvius! Tell the others of my cruel fate! I'll stay here and die with my loved ones!

Panel 12

Vaarsuvius: Stop being so blasted melodramatic. It's nonmagical fire, it inflicts a mere 1d6 points of damage. We'll make three trips.
Haley: Well, excuse me, it's a little something I like to call "roleplaying".

D&D Context Edit

  • Nonmagical fire deals one six-sided die roll of damage each six seconds, which is not very lethal for higher-level characters.
  • A Bag of Holding is a magic bag that provides an extradimensional space to put large amounts of treasure into.
  • Expeditious Retreat is a 1st-level Wizard spell that increases movement speed by 30 feet per round.

Trivia Edit

  • Haley references Sophie's Choice, where a mother had to choose which child she could save, and which had to be put to death.

External Links Edit

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