|“No Flair for the Dramatic”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||9 November 2005|
|View the comic|
Haley tries to rescue her treasure.
- Panel 1
Haley is running through the burning inn.
Haley: C'mon, V, hurry!
Vaarsuvius: Patience! I did not prepare Expeditious Retreat this morning.
- Panel 2
They come upon Miko.
Haley: Oh. Hello, Miko.
Haley: What brings you here?
Miko: Rescuing the helpless. You?
Haley: Uh... the same.
- Panel 3
Miko: Do you require assistance leaving the burning building?
Haley: Uh, no, no, we're fine. Do you?
Haley: OK, then.
- Panel 4
- Panel 5
Haley: Well, it was nice getting a chance to talk like this.
Haley: Gotta run.
Miko: Of course.
- Panel 6
They part ways.
- Panel 7
Haley: OK, the safe room is right through here.
Haley: Now, my bags of Holding are still full with the treasure from Xykon's dungeon, so we're going to have to carry only what we can.
- Panel 8
Haley: Just gotta... pick the lock...
Haley picks the lock on the safe room.
- Panel 9
Haley: My gods! They're so beautiful! How could I ever pick one bag over another??
Haley: It's like "Sophie's Choice" all over again!
- Panel 10
Haley: I can't do it! I can't pick just one! I'd rather die than condemn the rest of my treasure to a fiery grave!
- Panel 11
Haley: Go on without me, Vaarsuvius! Tell the others of my cruel fate! I'll stay here and die with my loved ones!
- Panel 12
Vaarsuvius: Stop being so blasted melodramatic. It's nonmagical fire, it inflicts a mere 1d6 points of damage. We'll make three trips.
Haley: Well, excuse me, it's a little something I like to call "roleplaying".
D&D Context Edit
- Nonmagical fire deals one six-sided die roll of damage each six seconds, which is not very lethal for higher-level characters.
- A Bag of Holding is a magic bag that provides an extradimensional space to put large amounts of treasure into.
- Expeditious Retreat is a 1st-level Wizard spell that increases movement speed by 30 feet per round.
- Haley references Sophie's Choice, where a mother had to choose which child she could save, and which had to be put to death.