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New Wizard in Town

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New Wizard in Town
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 127
Date published 9 December 2004
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Elan decides to become a "wizard" and Vaarsuvius doesn't like it

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Roy, Belkar, and Vaarsuvius eat bacon and eggs around a table at the inn.
Elan (off-panel): BEHOLD!
Roy: Oh, that can't be a good sign.

Panel 2

Elan is dressed in wizard robes, wearing a false beard, and holding a staff with a magic 8-ball on the end.
Elan: It is I, your new party wizard! I am powerful and stuff!
Roy: If I don't look directly at it, it can't kill my brain.

Panel 3

Vaarsuvius: Elan, you are not—
Elan: Not Elan—Elanicalicus, a name more befitting a mighty wizard like me!
Roy: Can't hear either.

Panel 4

Elan: Can't you see my wizard dress and my wizard stick and my pointy wizard hat? Why would I wear this stuff if I were not a wizard?

Panel 5

Elan: I am here to use my frabjulitulity to mictifarcate your gilltooney!
Elan: Lo! My junurtiquity is most biollorky! Bask in the power of my meckalecka-hi, meckahiney-ho!
Vaarsuvius: THAT IS ENOUGH!

Panel 6

Vaarsuvius: I will allow you to mock neither me nor my noble mystical profession any longer! You are NOT a wizard, powerful or otherwise!
Vaarsuvius: You are, in fact, a simpering buffoon without the brain power required to dress yourself, much less manage the lowliest of cantrips. You are naught but a fool, an addle-brained fool!!

Panel 7

Beat. Vaarsuvius glares at Elan.

Panel 8

Elan bursts into tears.

Panel 9

Elan: I just, I just wanted to be smart and cool and powerful like you, Vaarsuvius and, and I'm sorry and, and, and...

Panel 10


Panel 11

Belkar: Wow. You made Elan cry. Even I've never done that. It must be a real kick in the gut, knowing that you utterly crushed his fragile little spirit.

Panel 12

Belkar: Must really make you feel guilty that—
Vaarsuvius: Crushing Despair.

Panel 13

Belkar: Sob! Poor Elan!

D&D Context Edit

  • Crushing Despair is a 4th-level Wizard spell that causes immense sadness to multiple targets, which gives them a number of penalties.

Trivia Edit

External Links Edit

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