|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||25 March 2016|
|View the comic|
The Order struggles with what to call the vampire "Durkon", now that they know he is not the same being as the old Durkon.
- The Order of the Stick
- Blackwing ◀ ▶
- Panel 1
Roy: OK, gang: We have at least a day before we'll be at Firmament, so try to use the time to rest and prepare for some vampire-hunting.
Roy: Me? I have some important reading to do.
Haley: I'll be coming around to hand out potions to everyone.
Elan: I think I'm going to spend the time generally freaking out.
- Panel 2
Elan: I mean, it just hit me: we have to go fight Durkon now ?!? Cuddly little gruff-but-lovable Durkon?
Elan: Next thing you know, we'll be fighting koala necromancers or something!
- Panel 3
Belkar: We don't have to go fight Durkon, and you're a moron.
Belkar: You're not very smart and you make poor decisions.
Elan: I meant the first part.
- Panel 4
Belkar: We don't have to fight Durkon because that's not Durkon! That's never been Durkon!
Belkar: We just gotta go save the world from some random undead schmuck, which is like our whole hustle, right? It's just a different dead dude than we were expecting.
- Panel 5
Roy: Belkar is 100% right.
Belkar: Are you just trolling me at this point?
Roy: We're not going after Durkon, we're going after the monster holding Durkon captive.
- Panel 6
Roy: In fact, we shouldn't even call that vampire "Durkon" anymore. We should come up with another name to keep it straight in our minds.
Roy: Any suggestions?
- Panel 7
Haley, Belkar, Elan, Vaarsuvius and Blackwing: Count Durkula? Undurkon? Jerkon? Leechy Veinquaff? Nega-Dwarf? Durkzzaro? Deep Fang Friar? The Creature Preacher? Nokrud? The Thorsaken? Pastor Expiration? Whiskers in the Dark? Nose-Fur-atu? Hel's Shell? The Corpse Formerly Known as Durkon? Greg?
- Panel 8
Roy: Never mind.
Roy: Just call him Durkon, but, you know, mentally put an asterisk next to it whenever you say it.
- Panel 9
Roy: The important thing is that we all recognize how hard it could be to go into battle against a face we all know and love—
Roy: —and that we do whatever we can between now and then to prepare ourselves emotionally.
Roy: If that means taking some time to freak out and get it out of your system, that's OK.
- Panel 10
Zoomed out shot of the Mechane as it flies through the mountains, "whzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Various unspecified speakers: Ooo! We could call old Durkon, "Durkon Classic"! Or Original Recipe Durkon. Durkon (First Edition)!
Roy: Please stop.
- This wiki uses "Durkon", or the High Priest of Hel. (See the note in the trivia section of #907.)