|“Mr(s). Wizard Explains It All”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||2 February 2005|
|View the comic|
Vaarsuvius ends the fight and explains some role-playing physics.
- Panel 1
Vaarsuvius: The time has come to end this battle.
- Panel 2
Vaarsuvius kills the ogres with a volley of spells.
Vaarsuvius: Lightning Bolt! Magic Missile! Fireball! Another Fireball!
- Panel 3
Elan: Wow! Great job, Vaarsuvius. But aren't you worried about using up all your spells for the day in one encounter?
Vaarsuvius: Nonsense. There shall be no additional encounters before we rest.
- Panel 4
Elan: Really? How do you know, V?
Vaarsuvius: Simple, the laws of encounter probability tell me so.
- Panel 5
Vaarsuvius: Here, step over to the chalkboard and let me show you a simple problem.
Vaarsuvius and Elan approach a chalkboard which is inexplicably placed nearby.
- Panel 6
The chalkboark reads:
|“||Adventuring Party A leaves Blue Castle on Day 1 and travels overland on foot to the Dungeon of Horrors, 17 days away. Adventuring Party B leaves Green Castle on Day 7 and travels to the same dungeon and arrives 6 days later. Given that the lands between the castles and the dungeon are nondescript and no plot-related villains are involved, which party has more random encounters?||”|
- Panel 7
Vaarsuvius: Do you know the answer?
Elan: Ummm... Party A?
Vaarsuvius: Let's find out. Vaarsuvius begins to erase the chalkboard.
- Panel 8
The chalkboard now reads:
|“||ANSWER: Neither! Both adventuring parties have exactly one random encounter, no matter how far they travel.||”|
- Panel 9
Elan: I don't get it.
Vaarsuvius: Each party has one (and only one) encounter because random encounters are tedious, and a waste of everyone's valuable time.
- Panel 10
Vaarsuvius: So no matter how long the journey, you only have one random encounter before everyone gets bored and moves on to the main plot.
- Panel 11
Elan: Ohhhh. Thanks, Vaarsuvius. Now I know.
Vaarsuvius: And knowing is half the battle.
G.I. Joe: G.I. Joe!
D&D Context Edit
- All of the spells Vaarsuvius cast were basic damage-dealing spells. They include the 1st-level spell Magic Missile, the 3rd-level spell Fireball and the 3rd-level spell Lightning Bolt. They could not all be cast in the same round.
- The title is a reference to Mr. Wizard. The (s) part continues the running gag of Vaarsuvius' ambiguous gender.
- The G.I. is a reference to the public service announcement segments catchphase, "and knowing is half the battle", from the 1985-1987 TV cartoon, G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero.
- This is the only cameo appearance of G.I. Joe.