Mending Wounds
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 667
Date published 2 July 2009
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Vaarsuvius and Durkon discuss Vaarsuvius's recent actions.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Durkon: Remove Paralysis.
Durkon: Heal.

Panel 2

Durkon: Welcome back ta tha land o' tha ambulatory. How d'ye feel?
Vaarsuvius: Drained.
Vaarsuvius: Foolish.

Panel 3

Durkon: Y'know, I had a few key words ta say ta ye ev'n 'fore ye flew off ta fight Xykon all by yerself.
Vaarsuvius: At this point, I do not think that another lecture regarding my inability to accept—

Panel 4

Durkon: I was wrong.
Vaarsuvius: ...
Vaarsuvius: Excuse me?

Panel 5

Durkon: I was wrong. Tellin' ye fer all those months tha yer magic weren't gonna solve it all.
Durkon: It DID. Tha spell ye cast, wha'e'er it was... it was amazin'. Kazumi said ye teleport'd tha whole fleet! An' ye went toe ta toe wit Xykon himself! I dinnae think that sort of power was possible.
Durkon: Who knows how much sooner we'd have gotten Roy back if'n I'd helped instead o' lecturin' ye.
Vaarsuvius: No—No, you were not wrong, Durkon. It was... such a waste. It started out well, but it soon became naught but sound and fury.
Vaarsuvius: I squandered its true potential by wielding it like a cudgel. Only when I lost it did I stop to consider what I was doing, and only then did I become effective.
Vaarsuvius: When I think of all I might have accomplished... I almost weep.

Panel 6

Durkon: Perhaps, but at least ye were wieldin' yer cudgel. Me, I sat on me thumbs fer months, afraid o' doin' tha wrong thing.
Durkon: Which o' us is tha more wasteful, eh?
Vaarsuvius: Are you not listening? I accomplished NOTHING by attacking!

Panel 7

Durkon: Trollcrap. Ye rescued tha paladin, dinnae ye?
Vaarsuvius: That was hardly my intended goal, was it?
Durkon: So? Ye think it was my goal ta save tha world from a lich when I left me home?

Panel 8

Durkon: Dinnae discount tha victories ye have jus' cause ye dinnae plan fer 'em. Ye've helped these people more than tha rest o' us who were tryin' combined.
Durkon: Ye cannae beat yerself up o'er what ye might've done, V. Tha way lies madness.
Vaarsuvius: Yes... I know that. Now.

Panel 9

Durkon: 'Sides, maybe if ye cast tha spell again—
Vaarsuvius: NO! ...It was a singular event. It cannot be repeated.
Durkon: Och. High XP cost, then?
Vaarsuvius: Something such as that, yes.

Panel 10

Durkon: Well, then look at it this way: Tha Order o' tha Stick is back together, an' everything is back ta normal.
Durkon: No harm done, am I right?
Vaarsuvius: Uh, yes... of course.
Vaarsuvius: No harm done.

Panel 11

(Cut to the Lower Planes where the IFCC is calculating the time Vaarsuvius used the Soul Splices)

Cedrik: 3 minutes, 6 seconds for you... 20 minutes, 35 seconds for him and me.
Nero: More than sufficient for our purposes, I imagine.

(A succubus secretary appears holding a phone)
Secretary: (To Lee) Director? Ms. Tiamat is holding on lines 2, 3, 5, 8, and 11.
Lee: Oy.
Tiamat: RRAWWR!!

D&D Context Edit

  • Remove Paralysis, a 2nd level spell, is the counter to Hold Person or Slow spells.
  • Heal is a powerful 6th level healing spell which cancels many disabling conditions and heals 10 points/level, up to a maximum of 150 hit points.
  • In D&D, Tiamat is depicted as taking the form of a five headed dragon, one head for each of the evil Chromatic Dragon types: Red, Green, Blue, Black, and White. She is spewing all five tiny breath weapons over the phone: Fire, Chlorine Gas, Lightning, Acid, and Cold.
  • Nero's time from the soul splice with Haerta is a multiple of six seconds, since she broke loose on Vaarsuvius' turn in combat in #641. Cedrik and Lee's time from the soul splices with Ganonron and Jephton is not a multiple of six seconds, since they broke loose on Xykon's turn in combat in #653. A D&D combat round is six seconds.

Trivia Edit

  • Vaarsuvius's line mentioning "naught but sound and fury" is a reference to the line from Macbeth: "...a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
  • The IFCC will cash in on Vaarsuvius' debt to Cedrik (the first of the 20 minute, 35 second debts) in #896, returning V to the Prime Material Plane in #918.
  • Tiamat is on the phone because she is angry with the IFCC over the Familicide spell that Haerta Bloodsoak cast during the Soul Splice with Vaarsuvius. The spell wiped out one quarter of all black dragons in the world. She is on five lines because she has five heads, as above.

External Links Edit

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