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Melts in Your Mouth, Not on Your Alignment
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0540
Comic no. 540
Date published 17 March 2008
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Haley and Celia attempt to deal with Belkar's morality.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

The party continues down the road. Belkar leads Solt's Donkey while eating a a candy bar.
Celia: I can't believe I'm traveling with a criminal
Haley: Yeah, you might want to pluralize that noun there. Some of us had to work for a living before we became adventurers.
Celia: You know what I mean. Belkar is a murderer, he needs to go to jail.
Belkar: Mmmm, tasty!

Panel 2

Haley: You know, you're right, I should turn him in to the local authorities. Oh! Wait! The local authorities are the main villains of the comic!
Haley: They'll probably give him a medal for ending the gnome menace once and for all.

Panel 3

Celia: Well...you're the leader, you're responsible for his actions. Do something.
Haley: OK, quick guide: Bald with dark skin? Takes responsibility for other people's actions. Sexy redhead with fair skin? Takes responsibility for her own actions.
Haley: And frankly, even that is sort of new.

Panel 4

Haley: Leaders are held responsible for their followers under the assumption that the leader has SOME degree of control over them. Which is not the case here: Belkar doesn't listen to me at all.
Haley: I'm "leader" in name only, so I refuse to be held accountable for his actions.
Haley: I didn't hire Belkar and I'm not his jailer. I say, let fate or karma or the gods or...or whatever deal with his deeds.

Panel 5

Celia: But...but you have to do SOMETHING!
Haley: Why don't you do something, if you're so keen on it. Maybe kill him—eye for an eye, and all that.
Celia: Me? I... I'm not a killer! If I did that, I'd be no better than him.
Haley: Yeah, pacifism is tricky that way, ain't it?

Panel 6

Celia: He can't just get away with murder! There has to be some consequence
Haley: Fine! FINE! Just to get you off my back...

Panel 7

Haley grabs the candy bar out of Belkar's hand, "swipe!"
Belkar: HEY!

Panel 8

Haley throws the candy bar off a cliff

Panel 9

Haley: There. The vile criminal has been punished by the loss of his beloved snack.
Haley: Milk chocolate justice, with almonds.
Belkar: Damn it! With my luck, the next gnome I kill won't even HAVE any candy!

Panel 10

Celia: ...
Celia: Do you have any idea how many cute fuzzy animals can die from ingesting chocolate?
Haley: Oh, for the love of gods...

Panel 11

Celia: Now I have to find that candy bar and throw it away in a proper waste receptacle before some little puppy eats it...
Haley: She knows what's poisonous to dogs, but not that humans can't shoot lightning?
Belkar: Screw her and her "morals"! Let's make a break for it while she's distracted.

Panel 12

Haley: Appealing as that sounds, let me ask you this:
Haley: Would I be traveling with a horrid little bastard like you if I didn't need all the help I could get?
Belkar: Oh, right.
Belkar: Good point.

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