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Maybe He Can Get Credit for Time Served
Order of the Stick comic
OOTS0734
Comic no. 734
Date published 9 July 2010
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The Lawyers make a return appearance to defend Roy and Belkar in the legal system of the Empire of Blood.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Roy: Haley was brought to a flying kobold named Kilkil. Rendezvous with her, then come find us. I'm sure we'll be safe until then.
Belkar: That was only 23 words.
Roy: Hurry up.

Panel 2

Mr. Jones: Jones and Rodriguez, Attorneys at Law.
Mr. Rodriguez: We got new suits!
Roy: Ugh. Not again. Everytime I think we're done with you two, you manage to come back.
Belkar: Kinda like herpes.

Panel 3

Mr. Rodriguez: Oh, right! We defended one of those half-woman, half-bird things last week!
Mr. Jones: No, no, she was a harpy, Phil. Harpies.
Mr. Rodriguez: I know that, I'm just saying that she got around.

Panel 4

Mr. Jones: We've been appointed to be your defense lawyers for upcoming trail.
Roy: When is it scheduled to begin?
Mr. Jones: What's your move rate?

Panel 5

Roy: Wait, I don't want you two idiots representing me! My girlfriend is a lawyer!
Mr. Jones: Yeah? Well, unless you've been dating Phil, you're out of luck.
Belkar: I've seen her in action, I'm sure you can't be much worse.
Mr. Rodriguez: I am a very generous lover.

Panel 6

A lizardfolk judge sits behind a bench labeled, "EOB"
Judge: ORDER!!
Lizard Guard: Case #235436-B, the Empire vs. Greenhilt, Bitterleaf. The defendants are accused of failure to produce ID.

Panel 7

Mr. Jones: Our clients plead guilty, Your Honor.
Roy: What?!? No, we don't!
Mr. Jones: Yes, you do.

Panel 8

Mr. Jones (whispering): Listen, here there are two types of accused: Those who plead guilty, and those who piss the judge off with a time-consuming trial before being found guilty.
Mr. Rodriguez (whispering): The conviction rate is 114%, and that doesn't even make sense!
Roy: ...Fine. We plead guilty.

Panel 9

Judge: Very well.
Judge: I hereby sentence you to be incarcerated in the Bloodstone Correctional Facility until the day you die.

Panel 10

Roy: WHAT?!?
Belkar: Damn it, this happens every time!
Mr. Jones: *Whew!* We sure dodged a crossbow bolt there.

Panel 11

Roy: Are you kidding me?! Life in prison, for failure to present papers?
Mr. Jones: You don't understand. That was incredibly lenient.
Roy: How do you figure?

Panel 12

Mr. Jones: Bloodstone is also the city's gladiatorial arena.
Mr. Rodriguez: You'll be done with your sentence in a week, tops!

D&D Context Edit

  • Harpies in D&D are half-woman half-bird monsters very much like their basis in Greek mythology.
  • The base Move Rate for medium creatures is 30 feet per round, or 10 feet per second, a fast walk or jogging pace. Characters can move at multiples of this rate for shorter periods.

Trivia Edit

  • The title refers to the fact that Roy has already been dead; so rather than dying in the area he could get credit for time served.
  • This is the first apparance of the Lawyers since end of the trial of the Order before Lord Shojo in #287, a gap of 447 strips.
  • This is the first appearance of the Lizardfolk Judge.

External Links Edit

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