Led Zeppelin Lied to Us All
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 493
Date published 13 October 2007
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Roy climbs the mountain on his way to his mother's house.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

[This comic uses a somewhat nontraditional panel layout to convey movement. It consists of five panels which stretch the length of the page and the mountain slopes continuously between the panels.]

Panel 1

Roy Greenhilt and Roy's Archon climb Mt. Celestia
Roy: Doesn't this mountain ever end?
Roy's Archon: Why? It's not like you get tired anymore, you're dead.
Roy: Yeah, but it’s not exactly easy, and it’s taking forever. I only have a day—two, tops—here in the afterlife, and I’d at least like to see Mom.
Roy's Archon: The mountain is symbolic of the eternal quest for wisdom and understanding. One must climb it in order to receive the rewards of the Celestial Realm.
Roy: Yeah, OK, but rhetoric aside, I sort of expected… I dunno, stairs or something.
Roy's Archon: Well, between you and me, we tried to install an escalator a few centuries back, but all the monks got pissed.
Roy's Archon: Said it violated their ascetic vows, and they felt like they were in a mall.

Panel 2

A Halfling and his archon climb nearby Roy and Roy’s Archon on the mountain; Roy appears to sweating and applying extra strength due to the climbing
Roy's Archon: So, we went back to the old way: You climb the mountain until you reach the level of enlightenment that you’re happy with. Simple, really.
Roy: Simple for you—nnnh!—you’re flying.
Roy's Archon: Actually, it’s just that the gravity exerted by this plane has only a neglible[sic] effect on the photons that make up my being.
Roy: OK, so not so simple.
Roy's Archon: At any rate, we’re only headed to the first tier of attractions right now—
Roy's Archon: —those that deal with sorting out all of the messed-up urges you people have leftover after having your soul stuck in a glorified sausage all of your life.

Panel 3

An Azurite and his archon climbs near the two.
Roy: Wait, so all that stuff you mentioned—that’s only the beginning?
Roy's Archon: Sure. But it takes most souls 30 or 40 years of being dead to get bored with the sex and food and such.
Roy's Archon: When they do, they start climbing again, in search of more spiritually satisfying fare.
Roy: What happens when they get to the top?
Roy's Archon: True perfect enlightenment.
Roy: Really? What’s that like?
Roy's Archon: Beats me. I’m not allowed up there.
Azurite’s Archon: C’mon! You can do it! Eye of the tiger!
Azurite: But I was born under the sign of the Pig.
Azurite’s Archon: ...
Azurite’s Archon: Eye of the Pig, then!

Panel 4

A female and her archon climbs nearby
Roy's Archon: But I dream that someday, after I guide enough clueless petitioners up the mountain—
Roy's Archon: —I will be rewarded with all of the blessings that a higher-class archon has.
Roy's Archon: Wisdom, tranquility, inner strength—

Panel 5

Do-Ragged Sapphire Guardsman with his blue archon climbs below as well as a dwarf and his archon. Roy starts walking up the mountain as he is near the top.
Roy: Hands?
Roy's Archon: That’s intentional.
Roy's Archon: It’s so I don’t strangle smartass newbies.

Trivia Edit

  • Led Zeppelin was an English rock band that formed in 1968. The title is a reference to one of their most popular songs, Stairway to Heaven from their 1971 untitled fourth album (often referred to as Led Zepplin IV). Roy and Roy's Archon also mention a possible staircase on the mountain.
  • Eye of the Tiger is a 1982 single performed by the rock group Survivor. It was the theme song of the film Rocky III. Eye of the Tiger is also the title of strip #391.
  • The Azurite mentions that he is "born under the sign of the Pig". In the comic, Pig and Tiger are members of the Southern Pantheon, but The Pig is also the the twelfth animal of the Chinese Zodiac (as the Twelve Southern Gods were derived from the Zodiac).
  • This is the final appearance of Do-Ragged Sapphire Guardsman, one of the Sapphire Guard. He first appeared in #447, Guarding the Sapphire.

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