Belkar debates about whether or not to become a barbarian. Points for guessing what he decides.
Cast
- Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶
- Gortok the Destroyer ▶
Transcript
- Panel 1
Belkar comes to the Barbarians Guild, a building with "barrbaryunz gild" written on it. Also a mean face saying "GRRR!".
Belkar: Oh yeah, THAT's promising.
- Panel 2
Belkar: Uh... hello?
Gortok: Hello. Come in. What can Gortok the Destroyer do for you?
- Panel 3
Belkar: Right. Well, I'm considering multiclassing to barbarian.
Belkar: Because apparently I've taken leave of my senses.
Gortok: Huzzah! Good choice! Barbarian is very fun class.
- Panel 4
Gortok: People think barbarians only good in fights, but there are many hidden benefits to class in social situations.
Gortok: For example, screaming blood fury is great ice-breaker at parties. And fast movement good for getting to front of buffet line.
- Panel 5
Belkar: Um, OK. I was interested in the more concrete details. How are the health benefits?
Gortok: Very good. High Hit Dice and increased hit points when you rage.
- Panel 6
Belkar: And the dental?
Gortok: Not as good. Most barbarians wear their teeth down gnawing on their shields. The rest tend to file their teeth down to points.
- Panel 7
Belkar: Hmmm. I'm just not sure.
Gortok: Gortok understands. Here, take these informative pamphlets. They will help you decide.
- Panel 8
Belkar: This... this is just a piece of bark. With some kind of mold growing all over it.
Gortok: Yes.
Gortok: Gortok doesn't actualy know what a "pamphlet" is.
- Panel 9
Belkar: Tell me, is being a complete and utter moron a prerequisite for the class, or a side effect of taking a level?
Gortok: Let Gortok answer your question with a question.
- Panel 10
Gortok: Who will be the moron after Gortok's white-hot anger crushes your little body into a mangled pulp while Gortok sings a jaunty tune to accompany your unanswered cries for mercy?
- Panel 11
Belkar hugs Gortok.
Belkar: I'm home!
Gortok: Tiny man is violating Gortok's personal space!
D&D Context
- Barbarians begin the game illiterate and have to spend skill points to learn to read.
- Barbarians have the highest hit dice of the base classes (d12).
- The barbarian class was introduced in the 1985 1st edition AD&D supplement Unearthed Arcana.
Trivia
- Belkar mocks the barbarian class in #121.
- This is the first appearance of Gortok the Destroyer.