|“It Was Not”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||25 July 2014|
|View the comic|
|[[[:Template:Tread link]] View discussion]|
Haley and Bandana discuss Haley's new costume for the northern climes.
- Haley Starshine (also as action figure) ◀ ▶
- The Crew of the Mechane
- Haley's Self-Loathing ◀
- Panel 1
Haley: —then in addition to the coins, we’ve got some gems that I estimate to be worth about 32,000 gp total, give or take.
Bandana: Hmmm. Could be tight. This many new parts can cost a lot, and the gnomes got a good sense for when they’ve got you by the short hairs.
- Panel 2
Haley: We’ll need to wait for V’s magic item assessment to know our total budget, then. Though I should be able to sell my old armor.
Bandana: That set I loaned you fits pretty well, then? You didn’t fall out of it with all that runnin’ around on deck.
- Panel 3
Haley: Yeah, actually. Kinda surprising, since you’re so skinny and all.
Bandana: Oh, it ain’t mine. My ex left it in my closet when we split. She was curvy, like you.
- Panel 4
Bandana: I was plannin’ on sellin’ it myself, but I’m real happy to let you use it.
Haley: Thanks. I was freezing my butt off in my desert outfit, and it was only going to get worse as we headed north.
- Panel 5
Haley: Plus, as the lead woman in this comic, I think I’m contractually obligated to switch costumes at least once per volume.
Haley: It’s rough now, but it’ll be a gold mine if we ever do action figures.
Three action figures in blister packs are shown next to Haley, the packages read:
The Order of the Stick RESISTANCE LEADER HALEY STARSHINE™
The Order of the Stick LOW SELF-ESTEEM HALEY STARSHINE™
The Order of the Stick DESERT ATTACK HALEY STARSHINE™
- Panel 6
Haley: And Bandana… I know how hard it can be to suddenly be thrust into a position of authority, especially for rogue types like us.
Haley: If you ever need someone to talk to about it, just—
- Panel 7
Bandana: You kiddin’? I’ve been workin’ toward bein’ captain my whole life!!
- Panel 8
Flashback to Julio Scoundrél commanding the Mechane with Fidel Secundus at the helm. Lakaita Secundus stands nearby holding the hand of the young Bandana.
Bandana (inset): I grew up on this ship, watchin’ my folks get ordered around and such. I decided young that I’d rather be givin’ commands than getting’ ‘em.
- Panel 9
Bandana: I know this is just a temporary thing here on the Mechane, but it’ll prove I got what it takes.
Bandana: Put me on the path to getting’ my own ship someday, you know?
- Panel 10
Bandana: But hey, I for-reals appreciate you tryin’ to do the big-sister-bonding thing anyway.
Haley: Well, historically speaking, it was either that, or we try to murder each other while hurling offensively gender-charged insults.
- Panel 11
Bandana: Geez, that sounds terrible.
Haley: Like dungeon delving with a bare midriff, all I can say is that it seemed like a good idea at the time.
- This is the only appearance of Bandana's father, Fidel Secundus.
- This is the first appearance of Bandana's mother, Lakaita Secundus.
- This is the final appearance of Haley's Self-Loathing, the phrenological incarnation of Haley's low self-esteem. Haley's Self-Loathing was an important factor during the time when Haley could only speak in cryptograms. She first appears in #311, Internal Dialogue.