It Takes TWO Thieves, Actually
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 609
Date published 20 November 2008
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Haley runs away from Crystal, but is confronted by Bozzok.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Haley: I got your "nice boots" right here!
Haley kicks Crystal in the face, "ftth!"
Crystal: Ooof!

Panel 2

Haley runs out the door, leaving Crystal dazed.
Haley: Celia!
Haley: Celia, where are you?? We need to get out of—

Panel 3

Bozzok bursts through a nearby door, swiping at Haley with his sword and missing.
Haley: Whoa!
Bozzok: Haley, you know you need to stop running. It's for the good of the Guild.

Panel 4

Haley tumbles past Bozzok.
Bozzok: You have to understand, our entire business model relies in exclusivity. It we allow non-Guild thieves to come and go from the city as they please, we lose leverage over those who buy into our protection rackets.

Panel 5

Haley: You don't have to kill them, though. You could just drive them out of town.
Bozzok: Other benefits of their execution aside, the fact that you yourself returned sort of undercuts your position, don't you think?

Panel 6

Bozzok tumbles past Haley.
Bozzok: Your father felt the same way you do, incidentally. One of the many reasons he needed to be removed from play.
Haley: My father?? What are you getting at, Bozzok?

Panel 7

Bozzok slashes Haley with his sword.
Bozzok: I'm saying that your father was very popular among the less violent members of the Guild, after the old guildmaster died and I took over.
Bozzok: And it's never prudent to have someone more popular than yourself around when you're trying to establish a new regime.

Panel 8

Bozzok: A few letters to some friends on the Western Continent were all it took on my part. You know, I still don't know what they wrote to him to get him to rush off.
Bozzok: I mean, he didn't even tell YOU where he was going, did he?
Bozzok: I hear the local government has had him in custody for some time now.

Panel 9

Haley: You don't really expect me to buy that story, do you?
Bozzok: Your purchasing habits are at your own discretion. I merely wanted to keep your mind occupied while Crystal took up a flanking position.

Panel 10

Haley: Huh. Nicely done, Bozzok, but you know as well as I do that you need to be 4 levels higher than me to sneak attack me anyway.
Bozzok: True, but I did say there were other benefits to killing thieves that try to leave the Guild-

Panel 11

Bozzok: Sneak Attack.
Bozzok stabs Haley through with his sword, "schtuth."

Panel 12

Bozzok: -Namely, rapid XP gain.

D&D Context Edit

  • In the 10th panel Haley refers to her Improved Uncanny Dodge class feature which allowed her to avoid a sneak attack in #604. Bozzok is now apparently at least 4 levels higher than Haley, putting him at a very high 17th or 18th level at this point, and allowing him to execute a Sneak Attack for extra damage.

Trivia Edit

  • The comic's title was originally "It Takes a Thief". However, the title was changed shortly after the comic was published, most likely because there is already a comic with the same title.[1]
  • The comic's title also refers to flanking, which enables rogues to use their sneak attack, and requires the target to be surrounded by at least two attackers.

External Links Edit

References Edit

  1. Namechange?, Giant in the Playground Forums.

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