Vaarsuvius' oft overlooked brand of revenge strikes again.
Cast[]
- The Order of the Stick
- Whisper ◀ ▶
- Vaarsuvius' Horse ◀ ▶
- Durkon's Pony ◀ ▶
- A Half-Orc Parking Attendant
Transcript[]
- Panel 1
The party approaches a public Mount Parking that is inexplicably in the middle of Wooden Forest. The sign reads,
“ | ➔Park Mount Parking 6 silver per hour or part Early Bird Special In by dawn, out by dusk 4 gold |
” |
Elan: So this is where the horses went while you guys were rescuing me? I kinda figured they had just vanished when you didn't need them, kind of like V's familiar.
Roy: Don't be silly.
Roy: That would be completely unrealistic.
Half-orc: There you go. One horse and one pony.
Vaarsuvius: And now I would like my mode of transit returned to my possession.
Half-orc: Do you have your ticket?
- Panel 2
Vaarsuvius: My what?
Half-orc: Your claim ticket. The little yellow slip of paper I gave you yesterday when you dropped off the horse.
- Panel 3
Vaarsuvius: My most humble apologies. I seem to have misplaced it among my many scrolls and spellbooks.
Half-orc: No ticket, no horse.
Vaarsuvius: Excuse me?
Half-orc: I can't give you your horse back unless you have the yellow ticket.
- Panel 4
Vaarsuvius: But you just acknowledged that you remember us being here just yesterday.
Half-orc: No ticket, no horse.
- Panel 5
Vaarsuvius: But I can see my horse from here!
Half-orc: No ticket, no horse.
Vaarsuvius: But it is the only horse remaining in the lot!
Half-orc: What, am I speaking Gnomish over here? No ticket, no horse!
- Panel 6
Vaarsuvius: Fine!
Haley: Hey, this horse has a scratch on her! She was at full hit points when I left her.
Half-orc: Read the sign, honey.
- Panel 7
The sign reads:
“ | Ye olde management is not not responsible for condition of mounts. |
” |
Haley (off-panel): Grumble.
- Panel 8
Vaarsuvius: I have located my ticket.
Half-orc: See? That wasn't so hard, was it?
- Panel 9
Half-orc: Hey, this isn't a claim ticket, it's just a piece of paper that says "I prepared Explosive Runes this morn—
- Panel 10
The ticket explodes, "BOOM!"
- Panel 11
Half-orc: Your horse, sir or madam.
Vaarsuvius: A wizard NEVER loses their ticket.
D&D Context[]
- Explosive Runes are a 3rd-level Wizard spell that explode when read.
Trivia[]
- The title and Vaarsuvius' last quote are a twist on Gandalf's line "A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." from J.R.R Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Rings.
- This marks another appearance of Explosive Runes.
- There is an extra "not" on the sign in Panel 7.
- Vaarsuvius being called "sir or madam" continues the running gag of keeping Vaarsuvius's gender ambiguous.
- Elan references the running gag where Blackwing pops in and out of existence when needed.
- The sign is a slam on the modern practice of companies being careless with other person's property but not wanting any liability resulting from such carelessness when it damages the property.