He's Just Pine-ing for the Fjords
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 526
Date published 31 January 2008
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Roy descends to the Prime Material Plane to check in on Haley and his corpse.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1

Flumph #1: Look the travel guide said that the political climate of Azure City was "safe for monsters". How was I supposed to know they meant only Evil monsters?
Flumph #2: And so we're stuck wandering around a bunch of caves under—

Panel 2

Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: WoooOOOOoo! I am the Ghost of Lame Monsters Past!
Flumph #1: Ahhh! RUN!
Flumph #2: How?!?
Flumph #1: OK, hover faster, then!

Panel 3

Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: Yes, flee, mortals! No matter how "cool" monsters may become, they can never escape the ghost of my existence!
Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: Tremble in fear at my embarrassing presence in older editions! I am an unstoppable—

Panel 4

Roy drops on the Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: "GHOST SPLAT!"

Panel 5

Roy: Hey, nice! No damage!
Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: Truly, my torment is eternal...
Roy: Looks like we're all tied up at Ground: 1, Roy: 1.

Panel 6

Roy: Wow, it's dark in here... but I guess my body is around here somewhere.
Roy: Really, you'd think I would get some sort of bonus on my Search check for literally trying to find the back of my hand.

Panel 7

Roy: Ah, there we are. Geez, I look horrible.
Roy: Not really the way I expected things to turn out when I linked Belkar's Mark of Justice to my position, I admit.

Panel 8

Roy tries to interpret the smells, "sniff! sniff!"
Roy: Actually... you know, my body doesn't smell half bad. Sort of a pine scent...

Panel 9

Roy: You know, one really doesn't expect their own rotting carcass to be so...fragrant.
Roy: Hey, I wonder if this means my crap really DOES smell better than everyone else's...

Panel 10

Roy sees a +5 Air Freshener of Pineness on his corpse's leg

Roy: Oh, no, wait—I see it now...
Roy: But that just makes me wonder where they possibly got their hands on a—

Panel 11

Flashback to earlier in the resistance. Haley presents a plan to steal a pine-scented car freshener while Roy's stinking corpse is being eaten by flies. Haley and Isamu have masks over their mouths while Belkar is wearing a clothespin on his nose
Haley: —and then we pop out the grating, climb up into the goblin cleric's private bathroom, and swipe the +5 Air Freshener of Pineness.
Haley: However, I must warn you that Operation: Neutralize may be the riskiest mission we have ever—
Niu: It's worth the risk!
Belkar: It's worth ANY risk!
Isamu: Can we go right now?

Trivia Edit

  • The title is a play on a quote from Monty Python's famous Dead Parrot Sketch.
  • This is the only appearance of the Ghost of Lame Monsters Past, who continues the Flumph's running gag of getting squashed by falling PCs even when Roy is a spirit.

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