|“He's Just Pine-ing for the Fjords”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||31 January 2008|
|View the comic|
Roy descends to the Prime Material Plane to check in on Haley and his corpse.
- Roy Greenhilt (also as spirit) ◀ ▶
- Haley Starshine ◀ ▶
- Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶
- Niu ◀ ▶
- The Flumphs ◀ ▶
- Isamu ◀ ▶
- The Ghost of Lame Monsters Past
- Panel 1
Flumph #1: Look the travel guide said that the political climate of Azure City was "safe for monsters". How was I supposed to know they meant only Evil monsters?
Flumph #2: And so we're stuck wandering around a bunch of caves under—
- Panel 2
Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: WoooOOOOoo! I am the Ghost of Lame Monsters Past!
Flumph #1: Ahhh! RUN!
Flumph #2: How?!?
Flumph #1: OK, hover faster, then!
- Panel 3
Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: Yes, flee, mortals! No matter how "cool" monsters may become, they can never escape the ghost of my existence!
Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: Tremble in fear at my embarrassing presence in older editions! I am an unstoppable—
- Panel 4
Roy drops on the Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: "GHOST SPLAT!"
- Panel 5
Roy: Hey, nice! No damage!
Ghost of Lame Monsters Past: Truly, my torment is eternal...
Roy: Looks like we're all tied up at Ground: 1, Roy: 1.
- Panel 6
Roy: Wow, it's dark in here... but I guess my body is around here somewhere.
Roy: Really, you'd think I would get some sort of bonus on my Search check for literally trying to find the back of my hand.
- Panel 7
Roy: Ah, there we are. Geez, I look horrible.
Roy: Not really the way I expected things to turn out when I linked Belkar's Mark of Justice to my position, I admit.
- Panel 8
Roy tries to interpret the smells, "sniff! sniff!"
Roy: Actually... you know, my body doesn't smell half bad. Sort of a pine scent...
- Panel 9
Roy: You know, one really doesn't expect their own rotting carcass to be so...fragrant.
Roy: Hey, I wonder if this means my crap really DOES smell better than everyone else's...
- Panel 10
Roy sees a +5 Air Freshener of Pineness on his corpse's leg
Roy: Oh, no, wait—I see it now...
Roy: But that just makes me wonder where they possibly got their hands on a—
- Panel 11
Flashback to earlier in the resistance. Haley presents a plan to steal a pine-scented car freshener while Roy's stinking corpse is being eaten by flies. Haley and Isamu have masks over their mouths while Belkar is wearing a clothespin on his nose
Haley: —and then we pop out the grating, climb up into the goblin cleric's private bathroom, and swipe the +5 Air Freshener of Pineness.
Haley: However, I must warn you that Operation: Neutralize may be the riskiest mission we have ever—
Niu: It's worth the risk!
Belkar: It's worth ANY risk!
Isamu: Can we go right now?
- The title is a play on a quote from Monty Python's famous Dead Parrot Sketch.
- This is the only appearance of the Ghost of Lame Monsters Past, who continues the Flumph's running gag of getting squashed by falling PCs even when Roy is a spirit.