|“Goblin to Goblin”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||31 May 2016|
|View the comic|
Oona, Redcloak and the MitD discuss relations between goblinoid species.
- Panel 1
Oona: If bone man is not here, what of little bald man in red cape? He is ready? Is already dusk!
Monster in the Darkness: I think so. He's preparing his magical spells for the night.
Oona; Preparing faster, then, yes?
- Panel 2
Oona: Time for doing! Less talky-talking with Dark One!
Redcloak: It's not really "talking" per se. More of a nonverbal spiritual link.
- Panel 3
Redcloak: I'm done now anyway. Don't your people have edicts against disturbing a priest during meditation?
Oona: No, which is why bugbear shamans get preparing done super-fast!
- Panel 4
Oona: Also, in bugbear culture, Dark One no big whoop.
Oona: Nice for weddings and funerals, otherwise can take or leave.
- Panel 5
Demon-Roach #1: Wait, so bugbears are just big hairy goblins? I thought they were weird wizard experiments that combined insects and bears.
Demon-Roach #2: You're thinking of owlbears.
Demon-Roach #1: Why would owlbears be half insect?
- Panel 6
Oona: Dark One, he is only caring about skinny little goblins and hobgoblins anyway. So little love for bugbears!
Redcloak: That's not true. Bugberas have always had an equal place in our society.
MitD: In theory, sure, but they mostly just get name-dropped to bolster an appealing but ultimately specious pan-goblinoid narrative that probably arose to elide historic sectarian divisions between goblins and hobgoblins.
MitD: ...is a thing I totally overheard some guy say.
Demon-Roach: Quick, kids: figure out which monsters have "trenchant political analysis" as a Special Attack!
- Panel 7
Oona: Some guy he overhears is true. Bugbears shiver alone in cold with soup, all forgotten.
Oona: And don't even get Oona started on norkers and nilbogs, who are getting even shorter end of stick!
Demon Cockroach: Probably-not-existing is a totally raw deal.
- Panel 8
Redcloak: Look, when the Plan succeeds, we'll strengthen economic and cultural ties between goblinoid settlements around the world.
Redcloak: I am sure when this is over, we can work out some sort of trade deal between your colony here and Gobbotopia then.
- Panel 9
Oona: Ha ha! Okie dokie! That is sounding good to Oona!!
Redcloak: Ahhh! Ok, um—wow.
Redcloak: I was not expecting a head rub.
Greyview: Should always expect head rub. Safer that way.
- Panel 10
Oona: Aww, you should be celebration, Greyview! Soon you are getting fancy treats from warm places!
Greyview: See? Grim specter of noogie hangs like shroud over us all.
D&D Context Edit
- The cockroaches have pointed out that MitD is intelligent. Astute readers could cross-reference the Monster Manual to narrow down the possibilities of what type of monster he is.
- Norkers and Nilbogs are obscure goblinoid types in D&D.
- The Owlbear is a cross between an owl and a bear, made from magical experiments. A Bugbear is a type of goblin. The "bug" in bugbear is etymologically distinct from "bug" as an insect, being derived from the Middle English word "bugge", a frightening thing. The word is akin to the English "bogeyman".