|“Gherkin Her Chain”|
|Order of the Stick comic|
|Date published||15 November 2008|
|View the comic|
Crystal finds Haley's weakness... or at least thinks she does.
- Panel 1
Haley (whispering): Celia?
Haley (whispering): Celia, where are you? The front door is too well guarded and I just drank two healing potions. I need you to come up with me to the roof and fly us—
- Panel 2
Crystal appears from behind a barrel and throws pickles at Haley.
Crystal: PICKLE DEATH ATTACK!
- Panel 3
Crystal smiles proudly. Haley stares at the pickles.
- Panel 4
Haley: So that's the sort of battle this is going to be, huh?
Crystal: You're just jealous because you don't have a secret plan for beating me that's as awesome as my secret pickle plan for beating you! HA!
- Panel 5
Crystal: Bozzok told me to find and kill you, right?
Crystal: So I tried to think about all the times we got stuck on missions together, and I remembered one thing: Whenever we ordered sandwiches, you always asked them to hold the pickles.
Crystal: But pickles are totally yummy, so I asked myself, "Why would Haley not want totally yummy pickles on her food?"
- Panel 6
Haley: And the answer you came up with was, "Because she's physically vulnerable to them."
Haley fires an arrow but misses Crystal.
Crystal: Yeah! Smart, huh! Though I admit, I was sorta hoping you would be screaming in agony from their touch by now.
- Panel 7
Haley: Geez, Bozzok finally gets a shot at me, and THIS is the plan he goes with??
Crystal: Nah, Bozz made fun of me when I told him my plan. He said I should just do this to you instead:
- Panel 8
Crystal strikes and breaks Haley's bow, "SNAP!"
- Panel 9
Haley: My bow!! That was a +3 bow, you stupid cow!
Crystal: Yeah? Well it was a +4 dagger, so suck on that while I shove it down your throat.
- Panel 10
Haley: Wait—how many magic plusses did the pickles have? Did they have enough to overcome by DR?
Haley: Sure—Dill Resistance.
Crystal: I dunno, I didn't even check.
Haley: That's probably why it didn't work! Here, check the barrel, I bet there's a label somewhere.
- Panel 11
Crystal: Hmmmm, I don't see anything.
Haley: Try the inside bottom, that's where they traditionally put the stats.
Crystal: Oh, yeah, good idea. I think I see something down—
Crystal falls into the pickle barrel off-panel, "SPLOOSH!"
D&D Context Edit
- Death Attack is a class feature of the Assassin prestige class (which Crystal has levels in). It allows the possibility of paralyzing or killing a subject with a single attack, provided the assassin has had time to study the subject. The ability requires that the attack deal damage to work, however, making pickles an unlikely weapon of choice.
- Sunder attacks have a chance of breaking an opponent's weapon.
- Crystal's dagger is not only +4, but also deals additional cold damage.
- A Gherkin is a type of pickle.