Get Real
Order of the Stick comic
Comic no. 889
Date published 20 May 2013
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Roy, Haley, and Elan are stuck in their dream world, until Elan unravels the illusion.

Cast Edit

Transcript Edit

Panel 1, Page 1

Malack: —in hit point loss and ability score gain—
Malack: —whether above or below the wealth-by-level guidelines—
Malack: —for as long as you both shall live?
Tarquin: I do.
Malack: Really, this time?
Tarquin: Really.

Panel 2, Page 1

Malack: If there should be any that know of any reason these two should not be joined in sacred matrimony—
Malack: —let them speak now or forever hold their peace.
Elan (whispering): Don't say anything.
Nale: I'm not going to.

Panel 3, Page 1

Elan: ...
Elan: You're not?
Nale: No.

Panel 4, Page 1

Elan: Why not?
Nale: What?
Elan: Why aren't you objecting? What's your scheme?
Nale: Why would I object?
Elan: I don't know. There's like a billion reasons.

Panel 5, Page 1

Nale: What is your problem? This is what you want, right?
Elan: Yeah... it is. This is what I've always wanted.

Panel 6, Page 1

Elan: But that...
Elan: That doesn't make it right.

Panel 7, Page 1

Elan: STOP! I'm speaking now and forever dropping my peace!
Tarquin: Elan, while I do appreciate the well-worn cliché of the interrupted ceremony—
Elan: No, Dad, listen:

Panel 8, Page 1

Elan: All of my life, I've always dreamed about you coming back and marrying Mom again.
Elan: But now that I've met you? You're a terrible person! Mom is better off alone!

Panel 9, Page 1

Elan: I get now that the two of you got divorced for actual reasons, and Dad, you haven't changed.
Elan: Heck, if anything, I think you may have gotten worse!

Panel 10, Page 1

Elan: Mom, if I can figure this out, then I know you can, too.
Elan: So then why are you suddenly getting back together with him now, after all these years?

Panel 11, Page 1

Elan's Mother: For you, sweetie. I'm doing it for you.
Elan: But you got divorced to keep Dad away from me.
Elan's Mother: ...Right.

Panel 1, Page 2

Elan: And Nale—you HATE me! And Dad! Why are you just standing there?!?
Nale: Oh, come on. Stop being so melodramatic, Elan.

Panel 2, Page 2

Nale: This is just like you, to try to take something and make it all about yourself.
Nale: Did you ever think that maybe I'm tired of fighting, and I just want to enjoy one day with my family?

Panel 3, Page 2

Elan: No, that—that's not how you would react to this. That's how I would want you to react.
Elan: At the very least, you should be trying to kill me for being chosen Best Man over you!

Panel 4, Page 2

Empress of Blood:: When do we get to catch the bride? I'm hungry.
Sabine: After the reception, I think?
Elan: Roy, Haley—I think this is some sort of fantasy world. I mean, a more-fantasy-than-usual world.

Panel 5, Page 2

Haley: Elan, honey, calm down.
Elan: But guys—don't you see? It's giving us our heart's desires! Or something sorta close.
Roy: I really have even less idea what you're babbling about than normal.

Panel 6, Page 2

Elan: Haley, you liberated Azure City, put your dad in charge of the Thieves' Guild, and got stinking filthy rich in the process.
Elan: Roy, you beat Xykon, got your dad's approval, and proved to the world that fighters don't suck.
Roy: So what? We worked hard and achieved our goals. What's wrong with that?

Panel 7, Page 2

Elan: Nothing! 'Cause the goals you guys wanted were all pretty good ideas.
Elan: But half of the stuff I wanted was stupid childish ideas that should have never happened.
Elan: And they did anyway!!

Panel 8, Page 2

Elan: What about Dad's evil empire? Roy, don't you find it weird that after we beat Xykon, we just sort of didn't worry about it?
Roy: Now that you mention it...that is the sort of thing I would normally try to expose.

Panel 9, Page 2

Elan: I think that's because deep down, I don't want to have to fight him.
Elan: But it doesn't matter what I want! It doesn't matter what any of us wants!

Panel 10, Page 2

Elan: What's real...
Elan: that my family is screwed up and broken.
Elan: And it's not going to just get magically fixed, ever.

Panel 1, Page 3

Durkon: What about me, lad? I dinnae get me 'eart's desire. I'm still exiled from me homeland.
Elan: Durkon, I'm sorry... but I don't think you're really here. I think you're dead.
Roy: ELAN!!

Panel 2, Page 3

Haley: No, Roy—I think he's right. Remember? Belkar told us about it in the pyramid.
Roy: Yeah, but that was just a lie Belkar made up. We found Durkon right after Xykon went down.
Roy: ...Didn't we?

Panel 3, Page 3

Elan: Roy, I don't think Xykon was ever really there. I don't think that fight happened at all.
Elan: I don't think ANYTHING has really happened for a long time.
Elan: We still need to finish all the stuff we started.

Panel 4, Page 3

Roy: So, what, we're still there?
Roy: We're not at a wedding, we're just standing around in a dungeon in the middle of the desert?

Panel 5, Page 3


Panel 6, Page 3

Roy: Ah, hell. We are, aren't we?

Panel 7, Page 3

Elan, Haley, and Roy snap out of the illusion.

Panel 8, Page 3

Elan: Plus, it woulda been weird for everyone to mention that Girard was into illusions and then not see, like, any.
Elan: Who wastes perfectly good foreshadowing like that?

D&D Context Edit

  • The marriage vows Malack recites are D&D versions of traditional vows:
    • "in hit point loss and ability score gain" uses D&D game mechanics to say "in sickness and in health".
    • "wheather above or below the wealth-by-level guidelines" corresponds to "for richer or for poorer".

Trivia Edit

  • Double Fantasy is the title of a 1980 album by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. It was the final studio album released by John Lennon; he was murdered three weeks after its release.
  • This is the final appearance of Elan's Mother in the comics to date. She first appeared in #50, The Semi-Secret Origin of Elan & Nale.

External Links Edit

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